Just One More Thing...

Reason is the Reason for the Season

2010-11-11T18:28:00.000-08:00

Secular humanists are getting in on the holiday spirit this year. Sort of.

The American Humanist Association and similar groups are plastering up billboards and running TV ads about leading a good life without God. One billboard, a copy of which was defaced in Idaho recently, states "Millions of people are good without God."

In time for Christmas one will go up outside New York picturing the nativity and reading "You know its a myth. This season celebrate reason." I am reminded of Mr. Costanza's festivus, where the merry tree was replaced by a boring pole.

As drab as atheism, especially the Baby Boomer variety, has always seemed I can't say this campaign is so terrible. That is, as long as it really inspires all those good Cartesians who only believe in themselves to behave as best they can.

The thinly veiled truth is these groups are seeking converts.

The good thing is billboards and ads rarely work for all us crazy God-fearers so I don't think they will work for the secular humanists either.

I often think of modern atheism as a sect of Christianity as it seems most (not all) of its adherents come out of churches in the West. What would atheism and agnosticism be without the faith it rejects? Joseph Bottum has some good things to say about that.

Feeling Sheepish

2010-10-11T13:37:00.000-07:00

A little recommendation. If you haven't seen it already, I highly suggest watching "Shaun the Sheep." It is easily my favorite BBC show since "The Mighty Boosh." Shaun is a little sheep previously featured in a Wallace and Grommit short.

The series follows Shaun and his fellow flock, the farmer, and the sheep dog as they go about their days on the English farm. All stop animation, clever like W&G, and no actual talking. Lucy and I have enjoyed watching the 20 minute episodes in the afternoon. I think it is age appropriate but some might find the cranky farmer a bad example, or the underwear jokes and slapstick too much for little ones. I happen to think it is a nice change of pace from all the edutainment stuff on PBS and Nick. Kids deserve a break from numbers and reading once in a while, after all.

The whole first season is up on Netflix right now if you are interested.

Me, Jane Lynch, and Tyra Banks walk into a bar...

2010-09-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

I am always a little behind the times. Tonight I started watching "Glee" reruns online. Any other sing-songy teen dramedy fans out there? The show is entertaining though I was surprised at the innuendo. Don't know if it is for the 16 and under crowd I thought the show attracted.

Now as much as I love Journey covers and Jane Lynch, what was most interesting to me was the mentioning of life issues from the get go. So far (just 1.5 episodes into last season) the show's touched on IVF, euthanasia, and contraception-- the first is poked at a bit ("I was a love child... conceived in a lab"), the second ascribed to the villainous Ms. Sylvester, and the third roundly defended as the only sensible answer to the problems of premarital sex.

If such things can be mentioned off the cuff they must be deep in the American mind, no? Glee will certainly be a decent substitute while I recuperate from the most disappointing television phenomena that shall not be named (*cough... lost*). It will also fit in nicely, I think, with my all time favorite show, Tyra, what with the sermonizing about condoms and great hair and all that.

Old color photos, Mary turns 2035 or so

2010-09-07T20:28:00.000-07:00

I'm sure those of you more familiar with photography than I already know about these incredible pictures. Alan and I were floored by what we saw. When you have a minute I recommend sitting down to look at these color photos and appreciate that they were all taken about 100 years ago.

How can you forget your mother's birthday, right? I mean, I am not good with birthdays but I at least remember my mom's. Today I forgot Mary's (as in Jesus' mother) birthday and feel just awful. I just now read about all the children around the world who brought flowers to shrines and made special food-- Lucy is now in bed and I didn't mention anything about the significance of the day. I could blame being raised Protestant, or that the kids and I have a cold, but these are lousy excuses.

At the very least we will celebrate in some way tomorrow, pray we remember next year, and perhaps I will find something that correlates to post here tomorrow.

Misc: apology, miners, R&B, etc.

2010-09-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

First off, I am sorry to all of you who left comments on my blog in the past few months only to find they never appeared. I was unaware that when you monitor comments, which I had to due to spam, Blogger does not alert you to their presence. Here I was feeling sorry for myself and those Few Faithful Readers were still following this thing. Sorry, and thanks.

Mark Shea is a Catholic writer who I really want to not like-- he is an abrasive Irish ass-- but usually find he is spot on. Here's some food for thought from Mr. Shea, how he handles intrinsic evils when it comes to politics and voting.

I've been following the story of the Chilean miners daily. It sparked a conversation about survival between Alan and I. We found an interesting list of survival tales and were especially intrigued by the one about Steven Callahan. Ever since a classmate of Alan's was lost to the wilderness in Glacier National Park a few years back, such tales have become more sobering than they are sensational to us.

Anyone else remember the Blu Cantrell song "Hit 'Em Up Style" from 2001 or so? Here is a folksy version of it by my new favorite band, Carolina Chocolate Drops. A great new way to enjoy an R&B/pop favorite.

Will be back to my usual abortion hating self tomorrow, I promise.

NPR: a favored soft target hates on humans again

2010-09-07T07:57:00.000-07:00

As I cruise around town, running errands with the kids, I listen to NPR. It serves three purposes:

1) I build up a better toleration to simpering, Baby Boomer liberalism

2) Tuck away bits of information that can be turned into small talk at all these social gatherings I've been attending

3) Avoid Top 40 stations

There is plenty to roll my eyes at-- like the recent story "Chinese Experiment Seeks Secret to Happiness" where Chinese psychologists, and the NPR reporters along with them, are baffled about why so many people in China are unhappy. It is confusing why the recent flood of consumerism into the nation wouldn't counterbalance the fact that their lovely, ancient civilization has been smashed to pieces by an oppressive government.

Anyway, what I really want to complain about is this bit on "un-natural selection" as they call it (listen for yourself, it is very short). They rehash the old notion that all this medical science, while keeping people alive and healthier for longer, is also perpetuating "bad genes" which undoes all those glorious eons of survival of the fittest. People who otherwise would not survive long enough to bear children now can thanks to scientific advances.

Joe Palaca says directly "But now, in some cases, we choose to keep these bad mutations around."

And this is followed up by the sound of a crying baby.

Ah yes, the bad mutation baby. I can't help but think there are people out there who really loathe the thought of sharing food, water, and the oxygen we are supposedly running out of with people whose genes are less than "perfect."

"But abortion isn't about eugenics at all!" say the detractors. "It isn't ever about weeding out the people that make some other people uncomfortable, abortion is just about personal choices." Right.

The Chuavanistic Sexists at ZPG

2010-09-06T09:16:00.000-07:00

“The 50 poorest countries on earth are also those with the highest fertility rates.”

So says the Zero Population Growth website. Does anyone else see this as terribly sexist? In other words, “Wherever women en masse are not guarding the Pandora’s Box (no giggling) of their uteri, starvation and poverty are sure to follow.”

So much for advances in feminism. No, no, it can’t be that the people in India grow enough food to feed themselves only to see it exported elsewhere and that is a significant cause of their suffering—it is because Mrs. Patel does not have proper access to birth control or an abortion clinic, and she has six children as a result. Did anyone ever bother to ask Mrs. Patel if maybe she intended to have all those kids?

Oh wait, the Zero Population people have that covered in another section on their site, “Defending Women’s Rights.” They say over 200 million women worldwide want fewer children than they have. With no stats to back that up, as far as I can tell. I recently read “Women in the Material World” which chronicles in photos and interviews the lives of women around the globe. Most of the women claimed they wanted fewer children than they had according to their little profiles:

Favorite Activity: Watching TV

Number of Children: 6

Number of Children Desired : 3

Number of children hardly came up in the printed interviews. And I have to wonder if "facts" like these are prompted by poor ethnographic tactics. Who wants to let down the pleasant American lady with a camera and notebook? Tell her what she wants to hear and get her the hell out of your rice paddy.

The Z.P.G. people love the saying “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Sites like this have a ton of information on how $1 million spent on birth control will keep so many children in the future from starving with so many less brothers and sisters to fight with over the food. But this does absolutely nothing for the children starving now (unless our pharmaceuticals companies have finally found a way to make birth control pills fulfill our daily requirement of vitamins along with curing acne, preventing bone thinning, and gentling down that nasty PMS).

It is chauvinistic for a bunch of white men and women from the West to tell women in the third world what to do with their bodies (I dare someone to frame it in a different light!), and it is sexist to accuse women as the ushers of poverty and destruction in the world.

What's the News?

2010-08-12T12:40:00.000-07:00

I recently asked "what's the news?" of a friend and he was so confused. Is this a regional expression? Or maybe it is too archaic and I should stick with "what's up?" instead?

Anyway, the few hangers on of this blog often tell me they like me to find interesting things to read for them. Here are some recycled bits from other people's blogs:

Baby boomers and movies, or how our parents' generation screwed things up (you know how I feel about those hippies)

David Bentley Hart on the death of Christian culture

Food for thought on migrant workers in Arizona

(And about this last article, I agree with the blogger that Christian charity should be shown to these migrant workers and their families. But what the hell does that have to do with the GOP? I cannot stand the association of Christian morality with Republicans any more than I can stomach liberals hijacking choice church teachings for themselves.

For the record, when the US government is sitting around with its you know what up its you know where (I worked for Migrant Education for two years, I know how little the gov't does for these kids) the Catholic Church and many Protestant denominations are busy feeding, clothing, and educating migrant families. Christian charity is in abundance for these families even when sensibility from our politicians is nowhere to be found. )

If you want links to juicy stuff in the news that intersects with matter of morality and faith I suggest frequenting the Anchoress and New Advent.

Down on Dayton

2010-07-31T06:57:00.001-07:00

We have only been in Dayton for a matter of weeks so I am not going to jump to any conclusions but the locals seem kind of down on Dayton. Before we moved here all I read online was reviews about what a dump the city is. Most of the people who grew up here tell me how much they hate it; there is a constant apology from the natives I chat up in the grocery store and at meet ups.

I don't see what is so bad about Dayton. I mean, the people drive like lunatics but that is Ohio (sorry Ohioans). And everyone seems a little grumpy but that is the state of our nation right now and I did just move from Kentucky, the friendliest place I've ever lived.

Young people here especially seem dissatisfied with their city. One young man on a review of the place said "Dayton is a great place to live if you just want to go to work, watch TV, shop at chain stores on the weekend." I wonder if he realizes this is reality for most of the people in places like Manhattan and San Fransisco, too. Besides, Dayton has culture hiding in many places. There is a farmers market and an art district downtown, the local Boston Stoker coffee brand has shops across town, lots of immigrant families from Eastern Europe, and historical sites throughout.

My guess is the people who don't think much of Dayton have seen it in better days and find its current state depressing or else they imagine life elsewhere is so much more exciting. We have come with a different perspective and so I think Alan and I are bound to see Dayton with fresh eyes, as a place worthy of exploring and, someday, even loving.

Broken AC 2010

2010-07-12T18:28:00.000-07:00

When I was pregnant with Lucy our window unit air conditioner broke. Well, the good one broke. We were left with a crummy little one that could barely keep the square foot in front of it comfortable. Then last summer in Washington we went through a "heatwave" (95 degrees at its peak) with nothing but box fans to keep us cool until it passed.

Early this morning Alan woke me up. "The air won't come on," he said. My first thought was, whatever this is we have to fix it ourselves. We checked the thermostat, went into the basement to look for glaring problems, Alan ventured out to the compressor in the backyard (which was harrowing as we were in the midst of our first Ohio thunderstorm-- scary). Long story short we have to have an electrician come out tomorrow morning to fix our breaker box.

Like everything else in Dayton it will be dirt cheap to fix it. We've been languishing in the heat all day. Our house is certainly air tight! Once the cool of the evening came we opened what windows have screens and let in a little breeze. But all four of us are sweaty and moving slow.

Like our past experiences with high heat this one reminds me to take a breath and think on what is important. What is a little 85 degree weather inside once in a while? And how nice to have something break in our house for once. So what if we will all be sleeping in Lucy's room, the coolest room, tonight. Lucy will get to stay in her own bed while Alan, Iris, and I camp out on the futon mattress on the floor. And in the morning, hopefully, the electrician will get the whole thing up and running again. If not right away, we will manage in the meantime.

The joys of home-owning, Dayton living, and PhD programming are just beginning.

To the pure... to the impure

2010-06-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

A good little article on breastfeeding in public.

“To the pure all things are pure, but to the impure nothing is pure” (Ti 1:15)

2010-05-31T19:14:00.000-07:00

I was ready to abandon the blog, leave it to the spammers and forget it ever existed. But what the heck-- even if I am only writing to the silent space that is the internet, I might as well keep writing.

We are knee deep in work, packing, babies. Who said one is like none, two is like ten in reference to kids? Maybe they were right. Obviously Iris's needs are basic at this point, but she is another person with demands and stuff which makes things in our house just that much more complicated. Still, so far things have been easier than I thought they would be with two little ones. We all went to the mall today, ate dinner, and survived. One point for the parents.

I am very, very sad to be leaving Wilmore but also very excited to be moving to Dayton. Who'd a thunk, right? Alan just rolled his eyes when I told him this, but there is an H & M-- an actual H & M-- in Dayton! I think I had to spend time in the middle of Kentucky for a place like Dayton to feel like a cosmopolitan mecca (the people I know from NJ and WA are gagging as they read this, I know).

So I soothe myself with thoughts of shopping, mass transportation, and Vietnamese food when the reality of saying goodbye to friends creeps up on me. It feels a bit better knowing no one we befriended was meant to stay here, and neither were we. It is late, I know I'm rambling, but thought I should take a stab at blogging again before I lost my nerve.

Waiting for Baby #2

2010-04-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

As with my first pregnancy I am now entering a stage of focusing in. My poor sister, mother, and friends-- I am on a birth kick for sure and have trouble thinking about other things! So I thought it warranted a blog post.

I don't know what preparing for a hospital birth is like. Of course, I have to have it in the back of my head that I could end up being transported at any point before, during, or after labor. But for a home birth you spend a lot of time fussing over things at home. Not only is the nursery/crib/baby's dresser a reason to rearrange things a million times-- you also have a box of birthing supplies to contend with, snacks for you and any others present to sustain everyone through the process, a postpartum care artillery. All my paraphernalia has been moved from one large box to lots of little boxes, from our room to the guest room/office upstairs, it's all been labeled and de-labeled twice, and I'm still not quite happy with how it is set up on the bookshelf upstairs.

There is childcare to set up. The bathrooms need to stay clean. I run through a mental list of comfort things I might want handy during labor like a favorite movie and comfy clothing. I'm sure many of these things are a concern with a planned hospital birth, too, but there is something about living in the space you plan to give birth in that makes you feel like you are crafting something. Maybe other home birth moms have had a different sense in the weeks leading up (please share your thoughts below!).

***
Yesterday we enjoyed some time as a family of 3.5. We drove up to Chrisman Mill winery to get a celebration bottle of my favorite local wine then headed to the UK arboretum. How nice to see the flowers and smell all the plants coming to life! Lucy collected sticks and dandelions. We ate a little lunch, went to the bookstore. I don't know how much harder outings like that become when another kid is added to the count.

I've had a lag in work so the three of us have been hanging out this week, catching up on reading and phone calls, still dealing with the pile of paper work from the house buying business. Today Lucy and I looked through her newborn pictures. "I was small... and TINY!" she told me. Lucy also said the baby looks like her; we'll see soon.

***
So I spend each day in a space somewhere between my regular mental state (which isn't so grounded to begin with!) and that place your head goes when you give birth. I listen to lots of music I liked as a little kid-- Red Hot Chili Peppers, Foo Fighters, Mariah Carey, Michael Jackson and all that-- and soak up the dreamy mood that comes with preparing for the birth of a new life.

The Game, Abortion, Compassion

2010-04-14T08:48:00.001-07:00

In the summer of 2005 I often listened to the song "Hate It or Love It" by The Game. Surely it was the refrain that caught my attention, but it didn't take long for the lyrics to sink in. The Game sings about parts of his life, his days dealing drugs and eventual success. Then at the end he thinks about what might still be going on in his old neighborhood and sings:

"I wanna know what's going on like I hear Marvin
No school books
They use their wood to build coffins
Whenever I'm in a booth
And I get exhausted
I think what if Marie Baker got that abortion
I love you Ma"

I have no idea what its like to be a black guy growing up in Compton-- I am a white girl who grew up in the burbs on the other coast. So I'm left only to wonder.

Now The Game, born Jayceon Taylor, implies that he draws strength from the fact that his mother did not abort him when she was likely to or thought about doing so. That must shape who you are as a person, knowing that you were wanted enough to be born even though statistics and circumstances were slanted against you.

But the very fact that you are a person likely to be aborted, what does that say about your worth in the eyes of others?

It is abortion under the guise of compassion that hangs me up more than anything. The logic seems to go like this:

You are a in a bad situation (no spouse, or no job or in the middle of school, or perhaps you already have a number of kids)

Another child will exacerbate the situation for you and your dependents, or you will be able to provide a less than ideal life for the unborn child

So you should have an abortion to show compassion on yourself, your family, your unborn child

Okay, how do we know (or how can we even begin to guess) that life for that child might be bad? We look at children already born in similar situations.

So while Mr. Taylor may be able to thank his mom (and rightfully so) that she chose to bear him into the world he is still the once poor, black, urban child people often look to as an example of why other poor city children should not be brought into the world. The only thing more invalidating than not being allowed to be born is someone pointing to you and saying "we use you to justify why other children like you should not be brought into the world." Same goes for people with disabilities.

As clear as day, when you tell the poor mother or the young mother or the mother carrying a special needs child "you should probably have an abortion" you are telling all those kids born into similar circumstances "you probably should not have been born." That, my friends, is not compassion in any way, shape, or form.

Ohio is God's Country

2010-03-20T09:46:00.000-07:00

Before I jump into the heart of the matter, let me say we had a lovely visit with our friends Dru and Adam and their son, Israel. It was hard to see them go last summer but equally as nice to have them here for a few days to catch up. Once again Alan and I were reminded of the richness of our friendships in Kentucky.

It was while they were here that Alan got the call from the Univeristy of Dayton-- he got in! Their offer was competitive to say the least and he couldn't pass it up. So despite other options, we will be going to Ohio for the next five years. What a blessing for Alan to really start enjoying the fruits of his labor. And at Adam's suggestion we looked up houses in Dayton; they are quite affordable and it looks as though we will be home owners before too long.

Now I met Ohioans for the first time in college. Unfortunately they were mostly a cranky lot and I quickly built up a prejudice against the place. This was deepened by the constant cries of "Ohio is God's country!" from fellow classmates. Ugh.

But I've recanted since then and have begun to see the good in midwestern living. I've always loved F. Scott Fitzgerald's short stories and many of them follow young people as they make their way from middle America to the North East to go to school and hobnob with the elite. But I've made a reverse migration and the one place I thought I couln't stand to live might turn out to be a very cozy home for the next few years. Ohio is surely not God's country, but I'll bet we can make it ours for a time.

"Housework, if you do it right, will kill you."
-Erma Bombeck, humorist and Daytonian

Trip to Farmville

2010-03-08T04:40:00.000-08:00

I love a weekend trip. This weekend, along with friends Meredith, Amberly, and Charley, I had a chance to see friends from Wilmore who recently moved. Now I usually do all the planning and driving for a road trip so it was such a pleasure to hand over the directions, decisions, and driving (yes, I wimped out on my shift) to others. While packing I'd brought an arsenal of things to do in the car but we ended up talking the whole way to Farmville, VA and back. Such a good time!

Our friends Kat and Rob moved some months back and are all settled into their new home. Their house is lovely, the town is just perfect, and they seem to have had joy in moving on to the next thing. I don't know about the other women, but for me this part of the trip was insturctional. I've only seen people move from Wilmore back home-- this was a very tangible lesson in "You can leave Wilmore to go on to another place and find your niche, be happy."

They spoiled us with a tasty dinner and breakfast, we played cards, we passed around their sweet baby who has grown quite a bit since we all saw her last, and we toured the town. It was good to talk with Kat and Rob again though it felt as though, in some way, we should be hauling them back to Kentucky with us when we left.

The trip to Farmville had all the elements of a good weekend roadtrip: pleasant company for the ride, good weather, welcoming friends at the other end who were generous hosts, good food, and a little lesson learned.

"I see all of the past growing within me." -Apollinaris

He got in!

2010-02-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

Last year Alan applied to the PhD program at Ave Maria in Florida. I thought he was a shoe in. No one reads as much as my husband, I proudly (arrogantly) thought, and no one makes better use of what he learns. We visited the school, we waited for the letter, I saved a Red Lobster gift certificate from Christmas for the expected celebration dinner.

But the school was having all sorts of problems and there were doubts he'd accept even if he was admitted. Still, when the rejection letter came I was angry. What a slap in the face, I thought. And then there were the months of seemingly endless speculation-- was it his essay, his statement, his interview? What had gone wrong? We put the idea of year round sunshine out of our heads and Alan planned for the next round of applications.

It was harrowing! Instead of one school, one place to think about it was five or six. There was a trip to South Bend, to Dayton, to DC. There was the day of his GREs when Alan left his ID at home and Lucy and I made the trip to Lexington during rush hour in our friend's SUV, skidding on ice and listening to "Paper Planes," to get it to him. Then the letters being sent off and the waiting, waiting, waiting while I admittedly thought "better him than me."

Then yesterday Alan came in with the mail. He handed me a letter and said "Read this." I saw Catholic University of America, saw the word accepted, saw the fat packet of papers in Alan's other hand. I was ecstatic! All his hard work and praying has amounted in admission into a good PhD program. There are other letters to wait for but no matter what happens next at least I know he has a place to study and that one way or another we will be moving this summer.

These moments are the icing on the cake of marriage, when you get to see the person you love grow and flourish. I am proud of Alan and excited about all that still lays ahead of us.

When Gentle Women Used to Knit

2010-02-13T08:18:00.001-08:00

Jane Brocket tucked this poem into her book "The Gentle Art of Domesticity." It is by Robert Service.

Winding Wool

She'd bring to me a skein of wool
And beg me to hold out my hands;
so on my pipe I cease to pull
And watch her twine the shining strands
Into a ball so snug and neat,
Perchance a pair of socks to knit
To comfort my unworthy feet,
Or pullover my girth to fit.

As to the winding I would sway,
A poem in my head would sing,
And I would watch in dreamy way
The bright yarn swiftly slendering.
The best I liked were coloured strands
I let my pensive pipe grow cool . . .
Two active and two passive hands,
So busy wining shining wool.

Alas! Two of those hands are cold,
And in these days of wrath and wrong,
I am so wearyful and old,
I wonder if I've lived too long.
So in my loneliness I sit
And dream of sweet domestic rule . . .
When gentle women used to knit,
And men were happy winding wool.

Some Flannery

2010-02-09T12:04:00.000-08:00

Here is a bit of wit from "Greenleaf," a story I recommend:

"She thought the word, Jesus, should be kept inside the church building like other words inside the bedroom. She was a good Christian woman with a large respect for religion, though she did not, of course, believe any of it was true."

She is still my favorite famous (devout) Catholic at this point; my regrets to Alfred Hitchcock and Richard Simmons, though they tie for a close second.

Knitting, Glorious Knitting

2010-02-08T08:19:00.000-08:00

Ah, the benefits of nesting. Both Alan and I are going through that phase of a pregnancy when you want everything clean and organized. If only this would last! I've been knitting up a storm again as well. Lucy was welcomed into the world with a quilt, knitted toys, hats, socks-- it is only fair that baby #2 receives the same. Her little basket of homemade things is quickly filling up.

Several kind friends have been nice enough to humor me about knitting as well: I've taught half a dozen people to knit in the last couple of weeks and though my teaching skills have grown rusty they still managed to learn well enough. A few are already well on their way to whipping out scarves!

There is something meditative about the needle arts once you get into them: the continuous loops of knitting, the cheerful rhythm of crochet, the neat little x's of cross stitch all provide a tattoo that can call you back to the world of thought and contemplation. Rosary beads made much more sense to me after thinking about them this way-- while there is nothing in the beads themselves the moving of hands and repetition of prayers has the ability to transport your mind and spirit to another place. Now if only I prayed the Rosary as much as I knitted! Perhaps I will become more disciplined and learn to pray while I knit. Any holy needlecrafters out there with advice on the topic?

Note: If you have a chance, check out this thoughtful post from my grandpa.

Lost Lost the Lost and Lost

2010-02-01T06:56:00.000-08:00

Humor me, please. Here is a selection of songs pertaining to Lost from my personal Grooveshark collection. You will find songs from the show and other tunes about being marooned, eating coconuts, repeating time over and over again. There is a little Steely Dan shout out to Mr. Shepherd at the end, too.

If you haven't already you should go to ABC and watch the clips from tomorrow's show (they are definitely spoilers!). The teaser for the season is worth watching too-- just click the link and two clips then the teaser should play.

Hurley to Sayid: "Hey, man. You gonna
put the lime in the coconut, drink 'em both up?"

Miscellany

2010-01-27T10:21:00.000-08:00

A thoughtful post from a monsignor in Washington about a young man in Louisville who was born with some physical abnormalities; it is a moving story about a father and son as well.

Don't ever, ever forget what an atrocity it is for babies to be genetically screened and aborted for having physical or cognitive limitations. It is discrimination of the earliest kind and there is no justification for the hatred some people show their children just because they might be born different from others.

Superbowl watchers: look out for an ad about Tim Tebow and his mom, Pam, during the game. It seems Focus on the Family has put together an ad that features Pam Tebow talking about her decision to not abort her son when doctor's recommended it. Apparently the slogan "Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life" and the spot itself are "extrodinarily offensive" to pro-abortion groups who tried to threaten CBS for deciding to air it. Funny they never seem to protest the network's crime shows that depict women being abused and violated in graphic detail...

Beginning of the End

2010-01-26T07:35:00.000-08:00

My Lost obsession will reach new heights this season, of that I am sure. I have already let my midwife, a fellow fan, know that we cannot schedule prenatal visits late on Tuesdays; the baby and I have a tacit understanding that she is not to be born during the series finale, though I do think I could go through early labor while it is on. I know, with all that's going on in the world how can I care about Lost? Maybe I am a petty, small person. It is probably a sign of my lack of virtue as well.

Our friend Jake mentioned at dinner one night "Oh yeah, you're a Lost fan. You should really watch this Onion video." Very funny Jake.

I will be tuning in tonight, with abandon, for a rerun of last season's finale and then again on Feb. 2 for this season's premiere. It is the beginning of the end, folks, and is not to be missed.

Jack: You like playing games, Locke?
Locke: Absolutely!

Happy MLKJ Day to my favorite easy target

2010-01-17T20:38:00.000-08:00

"Our efforts build on Dr. King's mission by transforming the federal holiday honoring Dr. King into a national day of community service grounded in his teachings of social justice and nonviolence."

So says the director of a Planned Parenthood clinic in Michigan. In fact, all PP clinics in Michigan are holding a fund raiser/feminine hygiene product drive in honor of the day.

Social justice and nonviolence. Hmm. Planned Parenthood might do a lot one way or the other but I don't know if sharing in the non-violent social justice of Dr. King is one of them. Sure, some will say that they've made life better for women, and women being an oft oppressed group means they are making advances for social justice. But King was primarily interested in social justice as it pertained to black Americans, not women who need low cost birth control. And you don't need to look far to find black people who are (rightfully) disgusted with the prejudicial agenda Planned Parenthood often works under, which serves to undermine black communities.

Non-violence-- I won't even go there. It is just ironic and worth bringing to light, in my opinion.

Homeschooling a Two Year Old?

2010-01-12T08:13:00.001-08:00

I've been interested in homeschooling our kids before Alan and I were even married. After all, I consider my education at home some of the better parts of my learning years and with all the moving we might be doing until Alan finishes school and settles into a good job, well it just seemed logical.

So I started to peruse websites for information on the best time to start, how to start, what to do. I suddenly realized that like being married, homeschooling doesn't just flow naturally from a person. Yes, some claim that it can (like those brave and confounding unschoolers) but I don't think I have it in me to teach through life circumstances alone.

On the other hand, think of all a child learns without ever being formerly taught: how to walk, speak, sing, pray, conform to certain social patterns. These things take teaching but there is generally no carved out twenty minutes each day when you instruct your child on speaking, lessons on good eating habits-- these things usually come organically, even for the child who might have special needs and require more focused attention sometimes.

So anyway, I am at the point of gathering materials. Our generous relatives showered Lucy with educational toys per our request and I now have a shelf full of lacing cards, alphabet magnets, tanagrams, puzzles, play money. I've acquired math manipulatives, miniature animals, and a felt board on my own. So right now on odd days Lucy plays with these things in succession, sitting at the table. I'm hoping we are at least setting up the habits needed to get a lesson done in the future. Because while many things are learned through everyday life others will require more focused times of learning. Maybe it is less about starting Lucy down the right path and more about training myself to teach!

Fellow Losties...

2010-01-08T19:14:00.000-08:00

... I thought this was great. And to all you doubters: if Lost is so terrible, why is the president's press secretary commenting on it?

"Jack: I don't believe in destiny.
Locke: Yes you do, you just don't know it yet"
-from "Exodus, Part III"

Roll With It

2010-01-02T20:31:00.000-08:00

What a year! We planned to move to Florida and stayed in Kentucky instead. I ran a half marathon. We became Catholic. My mom found out she was sick but recovered quickly enough. Alan earned his masters degree. We moved into another house. We spent the summer in Tacoma with Alan's relatives. Baby #2 began. I kept on working my same old job and learned to enjoy it. Lucy learned to talk, run, get herself dressed, ride a tricycle. We drove to DC, Michigan, New Jersey. I earned $50 for published pieces. Lucy and I made batches and batches of cookies.

I think the year has made me tired in the best sort of way. Yes, the agitations abounded: saying goodbyes, being low on funds, changing plans a dozen times. Most recently I managed to tick off my landlady and damage a rental car-- again, trifles that will soon fade into the tangle of a year. But after a long walk in the woods or a day devoted to running a race, you fall asleep at night knowing you are very tired and satisfied because overall it was good. So I move into the next year being a bit weary from the last but at the same time hoping for another that is something like it.

The Year of Mom

2009-12-14T09:23:00.001-08:00

She doesn't read my blog unless I ask her to, so I feel at liberty to pay a little homage to my mother right now.

My mom has had quite a year. Actually, she's had quite a few years. Perhaps this is what happens, to women especially, when you get to be a certain age. She and my dad decided a few years back to help young men in prison who had recently become Christians. While I was initially skeptical, it has proven to be some experience. Not only have they been able to give a few guys a nice home this year while they got on their feet, they've more or less adopted one of these fellows as their own. He's the brother I never wanted! Of course my parents have done this together, but my mom (being a mom) has been the main supplier of love and patience to these guys.

At Easter we got a call, the kind of call you dread. My mom thought she might have breast cancer, then found out she actually did. I was a wreck-- there were plenty of phone calls between my sister and I punctuated with long sighs. But my mother was aces. She went through surgery and her radiation with no complaint; even though she went for treatments every day of the week for months she kept on with life as usual. I always knew she was a trooper, but this proved it for sure.

And she started running this year. I mean, the woman runs every morning which is more than I've ever done. She and my dad hiked like crazy this summer, even during her radiation. And her cancer treatment was over for hardly a week before she got a new job. Not the typical grandma, but she is a good Noni too, coming to see her granddaughter whenever the opportunity avails itself (and always bringing a bag of clothes, of course).

Now my mother has always served as an example to me. So many moms raise their kids in such a way that they then become afraid of being spouses or parents themselves. But my mother gave me the confidence that I could have kids, be strong through struggles, and enjoy my children as much as she did while we were growing up. She also taught me a lot about marriage, that it can be the best thing despite all the trials it can bring and that you just don't give up on your spouse.

So, if I may be so bold, I'm declaring 2009 the year of mom. For all you overcame and all you accomplished this year, here's to you mom!

The Insect on the Leaf

2009-12-05T12:21:00.000-08:00

I have been reading "Margaret Sanger's Eugenic Legacy: The Control of Female Fertility." It is an excellent work that systematically uncovers that Margaret Sanger was much more than just the mother of the modern birth control movement: she was devoted to the ideals of eugenics which sought to promote a sharp decrease in procreation among the poor, immigrants, black people, and the mentally and physically challenged. Her financial backers like the Rockefellers and Carnagies upheld these beliefs as well, wishing to put money toward birth control methods that would control "unwanted" populations rather than contributing to their immediate care.

So much for a feminist leader. What kind of feminist insists poor women's feritlity should be controlled by male millionaires, that minority women should be bred out of existence, that sterilization should be imposed upon women with Down Syndrome or genetic diseases? I'm sure Nancy Pelosi and Ruth Bader Ginsberg and Hillary Clinton are of the same ilk. I wish they'd read their Dickens a bit closer. Here is an excerpt from a "Christmas Carol" which I've posted before and will likely refer to again. Please take the time to remember who the poor and disenfranchised are before assuming life would be better off without them.

Then Bob proposed: "A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us!''

Which all the family re-echoed. "God bless us every one!'' said Tiny Tim, the last of all.

He sat very close to his father's side upon his little stool. Bob held his withered little hand in his, as if he loved the child, and wished to keep him by his side, and dreaded that he might be taken from him.

"Spirit,'' said Scrooge, with an interest he had never felt before, "tell me if Tiny Tim will live.''

"I see a vacant seat,'' replied the Ghost, "in the poor chimney-corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, the child will die.''

"No, no,'' said Scrooge. "Oh, no, kind Spirit! say he will be spared.''

"If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, none other of my race,'' returned the Ghost, "will find him here. What then? If he be like to die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.''

Scrooge hung his head to hear his own words quoted by the Spirit, and was overcome with penitence and grief.

"Man,'' said the Ghost, "if man you be in heart, not adamant, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered What the surplus is, and Where it is. Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child. Oh God! to hear the Insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust!''

Pictures

2009-11-29T12:20:00.000-08:00

I finally found the cord that hooks up our camera to the computer after losing it... again. Anyway, here are some photos of Lucy from the last few months.

Trying out her new coat on our trip to DC.

While Alan prefers the iron, Lucy likes to get out

those stubborn wrinkles with a hand mixer.

Getting ready to go trick-or-treating.

At the Wilmore Halloween fair.

Look at those candy-crazed eyes!
This is after a good hour or so of Lucy dragging us around the street fair.
She insisted on carrying her own bucket of goodies.

Wearing her ballet slippers and leotard from Auntie Alex, among other things.

Visit to Michigan

2009-11-24T09:28:00.000-08:00

We were fortunate enough to be able take a trip to Michigan this past week to see my sister. An 8 hour car ride, once a seemingly impossible task, is now taken in stride. Alan and I consider long stints in the car to talk things over very therapeutic.

It was nice to see Alex and Stephen, of course, and good to be in a different place if only for a few days. In Grand Rapids you can drive for 15 minutes and still be in GR; if you drive that long in Wilmore you end up in the next county! We took advantage of the big city experience by eating hippie food and taking in the local culture (i.e. Alex let us watch a rehearsal of her upcoming show). She'll dance the Arabian solo in this year's nutcracker, a part I always thought she'd be good at and she is.

When you enjoy the company of your syblings you don't need to do much to have a good time. We just ate a lot, watched TV, helped Alex and Stephen around town. Stephen kindly showed us his studio at Calvin so we could see his latest painting series. Lucy had a good time with both of them, bossing Auntie and "See-wee" around whenever they let her.

It is a meloncholy time of year, in my opinion, so it was nice to get away and spend time with my sister. I'm looking forward to advent, am nervous about Alan getting into a good program, and can't decide if it is more important to use my free time to sort out the clutter in my house or in my sorry little head! Such is the coming of winter.

"A Stroke of Good Fortune"

2009-11-17T08:43:00.001-08:00

The sad state of things never seems to end these days. I have frequently come across the "childfree" movement online. Like landmines, these blogs lie in wait-- I'm searching for some commonplace topic on Google and wham! a "child free by choice" blog. Well good for you lady, is all I think and then usually move on.

Today I was in a curious mood and perused one of these sites. Oh dear. It seems many ever-childless people who make a conscious effort not to have kids call people with children "breeders." Once again I am reduced to the status of livestock! One page had a whole list of "good reasons" why people choose not to have kids, most of them being ecological. Another posted a list of retorts for people who ask nosy questions about why one doesn't have kids.

Now I have to confess, I left harassing messages on most of the blogs I found (shame on me). I know, dear readers, many of you are thinking "But Sarah, that is their choice." Sure, I find their choice rather selfish but according to the list the proper response to that is that I'm being selfish for unleashing more resource consumers on the world.

But people, they are clamoring for rights! How come every kind of personal choice requires activism? Rights for the intentionally childless? Oh please! There are lots of supposed rights I'd like because I chose to live in Kentucky, send my husband through school, or work as a writer. I can see it now: the Defense League for those Who Ghost Write, Live in Rural America, and Help Educate a Spouse. Kinda catchy.

I know these folks are confident their 401ks alone will take care of them when they are old; however when inflation has ruined them financially I hope my kids are around to forgive their nastiness, help them by paying taxes, and perhaps give them just a little kick in the shins when no one is looking.

(Read "A Stroke of Good Fortune" for Flannery O'Connor's perspective on people who are terrified of children.)

S.P.M. hearts S.D.

2009-11-12T06:57:00.001-08:00

"Give her some funked up music, she treats you nice
Feed her some hungry reggae, she'll love you twice
The girls don't seem to care tonight
As long as the mood is right
No static at all
FM, no static at all." -Steely Dan

When I was a child there was a Steely Dan CD rattling around in my parents collection. While systematically checking out all of their music I came across it and was taken by the song "Deacon Blues." It is about a free wheeling saxophonist and his live fast, die young philosophy. Why I thought this was so great as a third grader, I don't remember.

Steely Dan haunted me from then on. It didn't take many conversations about the duo before I learned being their fan wasn't something you talked about-- the criticisms seemed harsh and unnecessary. Was a smooth sound so bad? Was bringing rock and jazz into a harmonious pop sound so evil?

After realizing I didn't want to be one of "those people"-- the kind that control their old-school musical tastes to what is totally ironic at the time (aka the indie sheep)-- I relaxed and enjoyed.

So a few days ago I heard them live for the first time. It is risky paying money to see a band known for their studio recording perfection, but it was well worth it. My sister graciously accompanied me and didn't look too embarrassed when I was dancing in my seat. The guitar solos, the brass, the cheeky back up singers all brought my favorites to life. And to see a theater full of other fans, many of them young women like myself, confirmed I was not alone in my appreciation for the static-free styling of Steely Dan.

Being a Good Citizen... blah blah blah

2009-11-12T06:33:00.000-08:00

In college I claimed to be apolitical. In truth I was too distracted by other things to care much. Bush made me nauseous, starting the war in Iraq seemed pointless, the House and Senate looked like a two ring circus.

Not much has changed. Now Obama makes me nauseous, escalating the war in Afghanistan seems pointless, and the House and Senate.... well that really hasn't changed. But I've decided to have a go at being involved, thinking it may be part of my responsibility as a citizen after all.

The proposed national health care plan, what a topic these days. Some say its about time, others say it'll be our ruin. The Catholic Church said, whatever it is it can't include abortion coverage. I agree. It is bad enough my tax dollars have to go to killing people overseas and sacrificing our military-- I'd really rather that it not go to fund more killing at home. As I've said before, the abortion industry in America has such implicit racist and classist overtones that I don't know how any person with a heart could support it with more federal money, even if many do believe an unborn child is not a person with rights.

So I called my congressman about the recently passed Stupak-Pitts Amendment, rallied some friends and family to do the same, and was pleased when it passed the House. Planned Parenthood saying the USCB "hijacked" the health care bill is just silly. And really, the bishops are great but give the Catholic people their due credit. They didn't have to tell me to call, I did it on my own. I just think it is funny that when Catholics help vote in PP's preferred candidate for president they are called open-minded, and now that those same people are speaking their minds about abortion they are compared to terrorists. Not the "fair mindedness" Obama called us all to, is it?

"Picket lines, sister
And picket signs, sister
Don't punish me with brutality
Come on talk to me, sister
So you can see
What's going on."
-Marvin Gaye

Baby #2

2009-11-03T13:15:00.000-08:00

Today my midwife came over for my first appointment. The baby's heart rate sounds great (a happy little swoosh swoosh) and I seem to be in good shape. Having a home visit is so nice, a very personal alternative to the clinic I went to last time. She gave me the green light to start running again, and the midwife was hardly out the door before I had on my shoes and was out for a jog.

I am just out of my first trimester so it will be another 6 months of leg cramps, stomach troubles, and the like. But as long as we are healthy and the birth goes well I have nothing to complain about.

Halloween: Part II

2009-10-30T08:15:00.000-07:00

Forget my last post: one of my favorite contributors to First Things has put all my thoughts into words better than I ever could have. Enjoy.

The Drama of Hallowmas by Sally Thomas

Halloween

2009-10-29T05:50:00.000-07:00

So shoot me, I like Halloween. In college my "power encounter" professor (its like an evangelical Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher) told me it was unhealthy to like such a demonized day and fellow classmates told me I was "playing with fire" to recognize the 31st at all. Really?

Yesterday afternoon Lucy and I took a walk down town to buy a pie pumpkin. It was dreary outside, just a little cold. Birds picked morsels out of people's dead gardens, leaves sat heaped up in piles by the curb, the air felt colder than it had before. The earth dies, in part, during the Fall. We can talk about the happy circle of life all we want: there is something a little spooky about walking around on a gloomy afternoon in autumn seeing this kind of decay.

Halloween is the eve of All Saints Day. In the church it is a time to remember the saints and those we love who have passed on. We pray for the dead, for a quick journey through purgatory. Now I don't think gore and guts are the way to memorialize the day when we meditate on death. And of course it shouldn't be done fatalistically-- all meditation should be performed with some expectation of our redemption and resurrection. But refusing to take the time on Halloween-- or All Hallows Eve, or Hell-oween or whatever you want to call it-- to think about the inevitable reality of dying seems flippant. And since we do celebrate Christ's victory over death and the joy of those who are with Him now, the candy and costumes are just fine by me too.

Trip to DC

2009-10-20T16:10:00.001-07:00

We had a great time in DC. The trip out was smooth sailing-- Lucy was a trooper, there were few cars on the road, and we made it there in record time. We took a wrong turn at the hotel and ended up downtown rather than in Virginia where we were staying, but it afforded us a quick drive-through tour of the Capitol's landmarks. With a little room service, baths, and TV in bed we felt plenty refreshed.

The next day was horribly rainy and cold (for us, anyway). Still, Lucy and I made it to the Museum of Natural History and the Museum of American History while Alan was at his conference. Lucy loved the gemstones, the dinosaur bones, and the animal dioramas; the first ladies' dresses, Kermit, and the Hope Diamond were a little less thrilling for her. We turned in early, thoroughly soaked and chilled to the bone.

Sunday was Lucy's birthday. Before my parents came in for a visit we went to the national shrine. What a beautiful church! All the art work I saw is another post in itself. The mass was beautiful as well and it was neat to see so many Catholics from all over the country meeting there to worship.

After my parents arrived and Alan got back from his meetings we partied! Lucy opened her presents, we ate tasty Japanese food, and stayed up late drinking cider and eating apple donuts. I think Lucy enjoyed herself at her makeshift party.

I'm glad we went. After we booked the trip I thought it was a mistake, that maybe we should have sent Alan on his own. But why should he get to travel while we stay at home? I like this arrangement much better: he goes to hear a lecture, me and kids traipse around the city!

Speak Up

2009-10-09T15:15:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, who needs another earful of my opinions? But sometimes speaking up pays off. This summer I came across an article on contraception and religion at About.com. There was a rather disparaging remark in the essay about contraception and Catholics, stating the Church only permits sex when pregnancy may result. Anyone familiar with NFP as approved by the church knows this isn't true.

So I emailed the author and asked her to change it. And she did! She kindly replaced her statement with mention of the unitive and procreative aspects of sex with regards to the ban on contraception, so on and so forth. It may not seem like a big deal, but I was happy to lessen the load of internet misinformation rather than adding to it for once :)

Lesson of the day: say something. You'd be surprised how willing many folks are to listen. Sorry to say that running my mouth has gotten me a lot this past year: coupons, rebates, a chance to copy edit for a certain political up-start (I won't say who!). I even got to slam Oprah a little in "First Things"-- what could be better!?

"The only tired I was, was tired of giving in." -Rosa Parks

"Americans are so enamored of equality, they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom." -Alexi de Tocqueville

Madison Greene, where are you?

2009-10-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

I know the answer to this question: one of the only indie bands I've ever loved disbanded years ago to form other groups that I'm not so crazy about. The lead singer had a clear, soft voice and the accompanying percussion was easy to listen to. Anyhow, in college I was particularly fond of a song from Madison Greene that I don't know the title to. The lyrics are almost incomprehensible but I've typed them up as I hear them here just for fun:

And this could be my hardest break
A little time, a little cold
I see you in the landscape of my heart
And maybe there where the mirror breaks
Life could have more reflection
Would I feel so many worlds away?

And could we laugh some time?
There are no changes today
(Maybe there are reasons today we don’t laugh)
And there are no changes today

And practice works for quite a while
Maybe I could find it out
Find it out when I step out of time
And someone said you died for me
You took a dive, years ago
And I want to believe that its not just a fairytale

And could we talk some time?
There are no changes today
(Maybe there are reasons we find we don’t talk)
And there are no changes today

This could be the kindest word
Anyone has ever heard
And its all, its all just a season away
Or this could be the longest wait
Maybe all eternity
If I, if I can stand
If I can stand

There are no seeds in the ground
Maybe if we talked a while then
Maybe if we laughed a while
If I, if I can stand
If I can stand

If you are a fan of the band, know the name of this song, or can add a correction to my lyrics, please leave a comment. I always thought this song was, for all its vagueness, a good portrayal of the expectations, doubts, and hopes of the journey towards Jesus, that God-man who often seems ragged, wild, and motioning for us to turn (to quote O'Connor yet again).

Most Absolutely Spiritual

2009-09-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

An admonishment from my new favorite author-- a quote from Flannery O'Connor about birth control which causes me to half apologize for my recent post on the world's population:

'The Church's stand on birth control is the most absolutely spiritual of all her stands and with all of us being materialists at heart, there is little wonder that it causes unease. I wish various fathers would quit trying to defend it by saying that the world can support 40 billion. I will rejoice the day when they say: This is right whether we all rot on top of each other or not, dear children, as we certainly may. Either practice restraint or be prepared for crowding."

Sid the Rational, Mature, Disenchanted Kid

2009-09-21T06:14:00.001-07:00

I am not a fan of Sid the Science Kid, so my opinion here is a little biased. I don't appreciate a show that depicts children going to school only to learn about science. Plus the cartoon kids on the show are nearly incoherent: "Like wow! The human body is like totally awesome."

So today, as the TV babysat Lucy while I caught up on work, I caught the tail end of Sid the Science Kid. Sid was explaining that he'd learned in school that when your stomach makes noise, it isn't talking to you. I assume he was referring to the ever popular "your belly's talking" set of expressions. Sid cleared the air (thank God!) by saying that the noise is digestion beginning. Now if an 8 year old responded to me saying "your belly's talking" with "no, that's only the beginning of digestion" I'd be apt to find him impertinent and sadly adult.

Fine, teach your kids about the functions of the human body at an early age. But is there anything wrong with something like the body being a little mysterious until a certain age? Is there really any harm in believing your stomach is talking to you, or that watermelon seeds might take sprout if you swallow them, or in the value of lost teeth to some eccentric fairy with a wand and wad of cash? I am often disturbed to see how proud people are when their children see through something like the tooth fairy early on. It as if they are saying "Look at my kid, she's so filled with doubt! I love how realistic my 3 year old is!"

I'd rather Sid the Science Kid not disenchant the world for Lucy quite yet, so he may have to sit out of our viewing line up for a while. Perhaps the lesson is to have her do something more constructive while I'm working...

The Mostroms Take DC

2009-09-18T09:57:00.000-07:00

Alan is attending a conference in Washington DC this October and since I like tagging along Lucy and I will be joining him. Last year his academic wanderings took us to Florida and Disney World-- this will not quite measure up, I know. But I still enjoy an adventure, even if it is just to the capitol for a few days.

There is not much for a two year old to do in DC, however. Thankfully we will be there only two days and there are only two Lucy-friendly activities there: the National Zoo and the Smithsonian Museum of American History. I'm hoping between lions, tigers, and pandas one day and Kermit, ruby slippers, and Abe Lincoln the next she will have plenty to feast her eyes on. I'm looking forward to not cooking, staying at the Sheraton (I am easy to please), and zipping around on the metrorail. It always does me good to take a little trip to the city.

Blaaah!

2009-09-15T10:21:00.000-07:00

Pregnancy is a funny thing. For me it starts out with awful sickness. All I feel is a fist of nausea shoved into my solar plexus. At least this time I know the better part of pregnancy-- kicks from the baby, bursts of energy, the knitting one gets done while nesting-- can only be a few months away.

My parents were here for a long weekend and while I felt bad that the trip was a bust in some ways (we couldn't do anything we planned because of my stomach) I was glad they were here to take care of things. My mom took care of Lucy and fed us all while my dad fixed our dining room chairs and did a few other repairs. We still had good conversation and they had some time to relax, however I wish I was in better spirits for their trip.

I am lucky I work from home and have Alan here throughout the day; its allowed me to rest and coddle my stomach much better than I could last time. Lucy has taken to telling me "I know mommy. Better! Better!" whenever I get a green, and its nice to have a little cheerleader around as well.

O to grace how great a debtor

2009-09-04T04:59:00.000-07:00

"If it can be said to be 'about' anything, then it is 'about' prophets and prophecy, 'about' revelation, and 'about' the impact of supernatural grace on human beings who don't have a chance of spiritual growth without it." -Alice Waker on Flannery O'Connor's works

After a few years of being homeschooled, maybe my first year of high school, my mother purchased a new set of curriculum for my sister and me. The Sonlight program was Christian like the Bob Jones text books we used (I rue the day my parents bought them!) but it was a simple reading calendar rather than text books. As far as I remember, that year I read through history, english, social studies and so on. It was a welcome change picking up All's Quiet On the Western Front rather than picking through another tome on dates, facts, and figures, surrounding the World Wars.

Then in college I was fortunate enough to find a religion professor who handled things similarly. Larry, as we called him, assigned us Potok when we studied Judaism, the Ramayana for Hinduism, Elmer Gantry for the psychology of religion, and the more dubious The Celestine Prophecy for New Age thought. Again, a welcome relief as I found learning through works of fiction had a way of driving the point home in a round about, through the back door sort of way.

Like all terrible people I am stuck in my ways and still find this a superior method of learning. This summer Alan, on a booking buying ban, purchased a copy of Flannery O'Connor's complete works supposedly for me. I told him if he was going to play school teacher and make me read something he'd have to read it with me. So we went through Wise Blood and A Good Man is Hard to Find. To my chagrin I was enjoying the work of this sassy little Southern woman. Worse, her stories wouldn't leave my head for days, weeks.

I am moving through O'Connor's complete works and, after a short stint of being mad at her for killing off so many characters, the finer things of the stories emerged. I've never been one to "get" literature-- I was always wrong in English class when it came to analysing stories, always. But O'Connor I'm beginning to get. She writes of mercy, forgiveness, grace in a way that doesn't quite make sense until you sit on it a while. So, once again, novels are leading me on into something new, and the works of Flannery O'Connor are teaching me about God's grace in a way a devotional or theological text just would not be able to. Please pray I learn to understand.

It stinks in the bull penn

2009-09-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

"The Vatican should leave science to those that believe in it." - Penn Jillette on Bullshit

Sure. Now please, sir, eat your own words and leave religion to those who believe in it. Please please, pretty pretty please.

Another atheist rant. I know the fact that I believe in God takes away all of my credibility, even with some of my faithful readers. However, I am a somewhat rational person (at least I hope). I can imagine what life might be like not believing in anything greater than the human mind. What I can't fathom is why I would care so much about religion, especially that Catholic Church which, in the minds of many atheists, seems to be the biggest joke of all.

Here I'll reference the episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit that has everyone up in arms. The saddest part is that it isn't funny, but rather scathing, as if big jovial Penn was replaced by windbag Greg Giraldo. The show lays down the typical, hysterical argument: the Vatican has lots of money and power and is causing destruction around the world.

It is responsible for people in Africa dying of AIDS, for example. Is the Catholic Church the only organization allowed to access African countries? Penn kept referencing how the unbelieving are so naturally moral, compassionate, conscientious, and humane-- why aren't they taking care of the AIDS problem south of the equator by distributing condoms and teaching safe sex as they wish the Vatican would do? Many athiests are quite well off, enough that if all of them banded together they could take care of the problem in little time. Why hasn't that happened yet? And if it is happening, than why care so much that the Church is teaching abstinence and not handing out condoms?

Again, as a "religious" person I hardly find the atheists of the world capable of taking care of hunger, poverty, ignorance, or the corrupt powers that be as they seem unorganized and apathetic. So I take it upon myself as the person of morality to contibute to the education, feeding, housing, and clothing of the disenfrachised. If Penn is so convinced that religious people are filled with "intolerance, greed, paranoia, and callus disregard for human life" than I hope he is trying to step into the space the church is supposedly standing in when it comes to AIDS or poverty.

Addendum: a more aptly put bit about the same topic

Back in Kentucky & Miscellany

2009-08-28T21:08:00.000-07:00

We are back in Kentucky. It was sad to leave family in Washington but I am also glad to be back in our routine here. Alan's started classes at UK as well as his job there and Lucy and I have been busy settling the house.

Tonight we went to a "sing for your supper" party at the home of our friends. We didn't sing but they let us eat anyway. We heard songs about Ireland, Kentucky, and Amarillo; about soldiers, Jesus, and drunken rednecks; about farm animals, love, and little stars. Good food, lots of fun, and nice to catch up with the friends we've been missing.

***

If you haven't yet, please listen to "Please Read the Letter"-- it is a Robert Plant song that he recently rerecorded with Allison Krauss (I guess you could call her a bluegrass musician). To me it is a kind of austere rock song, measured and folksy and sweetly sad. But I'll let you ruminate on it for yourself.

***

Also, here is a little video that, as silly as it may seem, gives an interesting perspective on overpopulation. Its a subject that's come up frequently in conversation so I thought I'd share it.

What We've Been Doing This Summer

2009-08-16T20:55:00.001-07:00

Here is an update, in photos, of our summer in Washington:

The 4th of July picnic we went to. Lucy had a great time, as you can see.

Here we are with Lucy's little cousin, Jackson.

We were all at a u-fish farm for a birthday in the family.

Alan, of course, has found enough odd moments to get all his reading done.

Lucy caught her first fish that day (with a little help from Daddy).

A musical duet from Lucy and cousin Dylan.

Grandma Mostrom-- I like to think we've become buddies this summer.

I thought this was a nice shot of the fellas with the kids.

All of us celebrating Nana's birthday.

A home-grown family picture.
The bigger the Mostrom clan gets, the more impractical professional photos become.
This and all the other pics here are compliments of sister-in-law Des.

How nice it is to pawn off your kid on the in-laws for a moment alone!

My beautiful Lucy!

Cooling down after our photo shoot.

The big kids playing in a more dignified fashion.

We will be home in a little over a week. The summer flew by so fast! We have had a great time and I am so glad it worked out for us to come to Washington for an extended visit.

Eugenics, Abortion, and Us

2009-07-28T15:22:00.001-07:00

Ebeneezer Scrooge, while watching Tiny Tim in a vision, to the Spirit of Christmas Present: "If he be like to die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population."

Later, the Spirit to Scrooge: "Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man's child."

* * *

At the beginning of the year I wrote about Nancy Pelosi making it very clear that poor children are draining the economy and that Planned Parenthood in low-income areas will help staunch the flow of government spending. Ruth Bader Ginsburg made similar comments a few weeks back. I've had conversations with friends in the past year where they've expressed the same sentiment: abortion is bad, but maybe it keeps people who would have a bad life from coming into the world.

So who has a bad life? Who drains the economy?

Eugenics is the practice of human breeding. Positive eugenics involves encouraging the supposedly healthy, wealthy, and bright to have children-- not too many, but just enough to push their genes into the next generation and still give their kids the best life possible. Negative eugenics is about preventing "undesirable" people from procreating; this is most horrifically exemplified with Margaret Sanger's "Negro Project" which forced sterilization on thousands of black women in the rural south. Sanger was a strong supporter of eugenics and believed her Planned Parenthood centers would encourage more and more poor black, disabled, mentally troubled people to have fewer and fewer children.

Have we come so far since then or has Sanger and the other early 20th century eugenicists dream of a "better" race of people started to take form?

Disabled children are often headed off at the OB/GYN or the geneticist's office. The amnio that will "help you decide before its too late" should there be something "wrong" and the IVF that ensures only a "good" egg implants is probably why, in some places, the number of Down Syndrome births has been halved. Is this a victory for the human race?

Poor children have people like the speaker of the house and supreme court justices against them. A friend of a friend recently had an abortion at her doctor's suggestion. She explained that although the couple was in their mid twenties, were married, and both held jobs the fact that they were on Medicaid showed they were not financially ready for children. Like the line from Judd Apatow's "Knocked Up," everyone encouraged them to wait for a "real" baby, one that would have all the material provisions needed to be successful. And so the couple aborted their first child.

* * *

A better generation of people-- a smarter, healthier, whiter, wealthier, less expensive generation of people--- is that what would make things better? Is it possible that in supporting abortion we encourage the ideas of Margaret Sanger and the ideals of eugenicists to live on in the minds of other people who hate?

Marriage and Time

2009-07-20T21:46:00.000-07:00

Sink your teeth into this piece by Caitlin Flanagan from Time. Its about marriage in the States. Flanagan does a good job of bringing together recent media bits about marriage with the cold hard facts.

I enjoyed two of the photo collections linked into the articles as well, the one of couples married 50+ years and the "very special wedding" taken of a Down Syndrome couple's Hindu and Christian weddings. Sadly, though, the Down Syndrome duet has sworn off children, a hint at the eugenics issue, which will be my next post...

Toss Salad and Scrambled Eggs

2009-07-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

A lighter post-- I was going to write about eugenics, but I'll put a little fluff in between the heavy stuff this time.

So yesterday we trekked up to Seattle with the fam for the Bite of Seattle festival. There are few re-creative activities in this world that I think are better than a food fair!

We took the light rail from Tukwila and I am proud to say we were among the first passengers to ever do so as it was the opening day (which also meant no charge for the day). The kids watching the traffic and scenery from the big railcar windows. Once in Seattle we took the monorail to the square below the Space Needle.

The food tents were set up around a giant fountain. The walkway around the fountain spirals down so people can sit on the dry concrete or go down to play in the water. The day was hot so there were tons of kids running around in bathing suits. It reminded me a bit of the World's Fair park in Flushing Meadows but with a much more ethnically diverse crowd and a waaaay more laid back feeling to the affair.

So the food-- oh my glory the food! The three of us went off on our own to sample what the vendors had to offer and we ate:

A chicken gyro-- tender bread, thinly sliced and perfectly seasoned chicken, great yogurt sauce
Gyoza-- this was mostly for Lucy, a favorite of hers and very tasty
Calamari-- like butter, not chewy at all, with the perfect amount of salt and lemon
Jerk chicken-- spicy and sweet though hard to enjoy when I realized there was no johnny cake :(
Frozen custard-- enough said
Frozen yogurt with fresh fruit-- again for the baby and what I ate was great as it tasted just like thick, tangy greek yogurt
Cinnamon roasted almonds
Thai tea
Samples of a dozen different sodas and juices

By the end of the day we were stuffed. The kids ran around in the fountain while we all sat back and digested. If you are ever in the area and can make it to the Bite of Seattle (or the Taste of Tacoma) I highly recommend it.

Groucho and Grandparents: Another Rant

2009-07-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

"Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old.
All you have to do is live long enough." -Groucho Marx

Helping out my husband's grandmother has got me thinking about being old. When do you become old? We hear adages like "you are as young as you act" or "you are only as old as you think you are" in reference to the latter years. And in some instances it is wrong to mention the word as it has been heaped on the pile with "poor," "foreign," and others.

And isn't that the funny part of it all? Most people want to avoid making elderly people feel bad by calling them old but they certainly don't want to participate in their daily care. In fact, many are of the mindset these days that suicide is a caring alternative to life when the pains of growing older become a lot to bear. Now I don't necessarily agree with the aforementioned sayings in all instances-- yes, sometimes you let yourself get old before your time. But some people are stuck with crippling illnesses, depression, and loneliness that, despite their best efforts, knock back the desire to act and think young. But I am only 25 so what do I really know about life being preferable to death wrought at your own hands?

Just as with feminism, care for the environment, migrant workers, all the people-centric "issues" I get so ornery about, we often miss the point. We talk about rights and liberties, which I strongly believe are small matters when compared to a person's dignity. You can give an elderly person all their rights-- Alan's grandma can vote, protest, draw social security, sign up for Medicare, participate in commerce, drive, work, marry. But what good would all these supposed freedoms be if she wasn't treated with dignity by those around her? People are liberated when they are respected for being people rather than being useful. Our founding fathers missed that one, we as Christians too often forget it, and when it comes to the elderly it is seldom treated as the main issue.

Dignity folks-- get in touch with the old people in your life (even if you are old yourself) and give them some respect.

(And while we're at it-- here is a post from my grandfather, an almost-octogenarian who I not only respect but also tend to agree with on some political matters)

233 years later...

2009-07-05T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated the 4th as best we could. I always try to pick out some positive points to contemplate each Independence Day, stop short of dwelling on the bad, and forget it all to enjoy food and fireworks.

We went to a picnic with Alan's siblings & co. and had a nice time-- in the morning we marched in the Steilacoom parade (it is a lovely old pioneer-type town that overlooks the Sound), Lucy and her cousin Sophia waving to the onlookers. Then we hung out at the hostess' house, eating tasty food and watching the kids run around. In an effort to be environmentally conscience everyone brought their own reusable plates and cups, nothing disposable (which was great, though I could have lived without hearing the words "green" and "footprint" a dozen times as it is a sad reminder of most people's ecotrendiness).

When we got back to Tacoma the three of us spent some time at Grandma's and I stayed up with her to see the fireworks in New York on TV. After Lucy was in bed Alan and I sat out to watch the fireworks over the tops of the trees. Despite a hefty fine granted those in Tacoma proper that set off firworks we saw hundreds of them go up (with the sounds of police sirens heading in the direction of the bigger displays). Just a little f-you to the law I suppose, which I have to admire when it is done in good fun and happens on the 4th of July.

Pho Sure

2009-06-30T12:59:00.000-07:00

We are settling in to our temporary home here a little more each day. Spent the last week doing a lot of visiting-- seeing Alan's sister's new home out in the country, taking walks around the neighborhood with Grandma, hanging out with Alan's triplet cousins. The immediate family and a few friends came over yesterday for Alan's birthday (yes folks, he's 31 now).

Last week we took the bus to the mall and it was surprisingly easy; I guess we live by a good bus route. We've had pho a couple times (today included because I have a nasty cold-- if chicken soup soothes a cold pho kicks it to the curb) and have taken our biweekly trips to Half Price Books.

We can see Mt. Rainier from the upstairs bedroom, by the way. That and all the flowers and trees makes Tacoma a nice place to be as far as cities go. We are looking forward to another week of kicking back, getting a little work and reading done, and thoroughly enjoying ourselves.

2009-06-23T23:28:00.000-07:00

Ever play Oregon Trail? I was a fan of the first, crummy version where you watched a little pair of oxen pull a little bumpy wagon past the same four mountains and rocks over and over again. The wagon wheels and axles would break, you'd have to ford a river and your things would get wet, there were people to bury because of dysentery and fellow travelers to trade with when hunger struck. And if you made it to the end you were given a parcel of land-- 100 acres if you did well, as few as 1 if you almost died along the way.

Well we've made it out west. There were no wagons to repair or oxen poop to deal with, thankfully. The plot given us, temporarily, is an old home on its way to being fixed up, lots of room and a little charm. With the curtains hung and the kitchen stocked (thank you in-laws) it feels a little more like home. I can't imagine the shock of the pioneers when they spent months traversing dusty, rocky terrain and then laid their eyes on the emerald city, on western Washington where everything looks velvety and green. To think we passed it all in a few short hours, places like the Rocky Mountains simply hills a mile below.

Anyhow, we are here. The weather is a bit chilly, something like the weather of upstate New York in summer. I can't complain as the last few days have been sunny with fluffy clouds. The people around town, as always, are a bit cranky but it is refreshing after the constant, cheery small talk of Kentucky (which I find both pleasant and, at times, exhausting). I will keep you all updated but no pictures-- I always promise and never post them so this time no promises at all.

Old House, New House

2009-06-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

Our living room is filled with boxes, each one packed up with either our junk or treasures. The pictures are off the walls, the cupboards are swept out, the shed is nearly empty. This place has been our home for three years and our time in it has ended.

This duplex was built in the 1970's-- maybe the 60's?-- and couldn't be simpler. A brick square with three rooms plus a galley kitchen and bath. I've enjoyed the few features it has like a large pantry and good alignment with the sun (lots of sunlight despite few windows) but it is basically plain. Still, I'll miss the ugly brown carpets and robin's egg blue walls, the memories we've made here.

This is the first house Alan and I lived in as married people. Our worst fights and most tender times happened here. Lucy was born in this house as well, her first moments spent staring at the sand painted ceilings of our bedroom.

The house we are moving into is nearly twice the size, new, neat, nice. I am excited to live in a place that doesn't have the smell of a dozen other people rising up from the carpet on hot afternoons (ick). And with mounting student debt and years of school left, this may be the last time for a long time we have the opportunity to live in a new and spacious (affordable) place.

I will miss our little home nestled between the cows and hay just the same. It is the 12th house I've called home but will certainly stand out as one of the most memorable.

Homeschool Tidbit

2009-06-09T18:13:00.000-07:00

Just a little more about homeschooling, a tiny vignette of personal experience in the midst of all the statistics, accusations, defenses, and justifications you find about the matter online.

When my mother told me I would not be returning to junior high in the Fall I nearly died inside. For 7 years I'd taken the bus, sat in a classroom, sweated through gym, ate lunch in a crowded cafeteria and savored the moments of recess. Now I'd be working out math and grammar on my own at the kitchen table next to my little sister? My friends! My freedom! I wanted to find a way to sneak out to school every morning anyway; maybe my mother wouldn't notice.

By October the knots of my life I didn't even know were there began to untangle. Friends? I stayed in touch with school friends and met a slew of kids who were also homeschooled. Freedom? Well, freedom was found in a babysitting job (which meant my own money!) and hours of time to do whatever the hell I wanted to do. Soon homeschooling felt less like a punishment for the supposed failures of public education and more like perpetual summer break with geography and literature thrown in.

Don't mistake this for laxness on my parent's part: I worked hard to get through all my subjects each day. But there was a new love affair with learning as I realized I could disagree with my curriculum and say so (so much for the accusation of homeschooling equaling indoctrination); I could go down rabbit trails of my choosing in history; I could finally spend hours on my blasted math books trying to fully understand algebra, no teacher moving me ahead before I was ready. And I read and read and read and read-- poetry, novels, plays, world literature, I devoured books with leisure and love.

Whatever my parent's intent may have been, I benefited from those years learning in their home.

I know, if we homeschool our children we are in for years of having to explain why we are not right wing conservatives, that you can be a homeschooler and an intellectual, that we do not wish to shield our children from some big world outside our home. But so what? Just as I'd never expect another person to sway from their educational convictions because of my own opinions, so I won't let the naysayers wear me down.

Just a Few More Things

2009-06-08T09:11:00.000-07:00

We spent the last week in NJ, helping out my parents and visiting. We froze some meals in anticipation of my mom's treatment in the months to follow (who knows how it will effect her), cleaned a little, recovered the headliner in my Dad's car, took a trip to the hospital to discuss paperwork and such. Lucy seemed to enjoy herself so much just playing with Noni and Poppy and chasing the dog around.

So now we have a few days to pack up for our move across town, then a day to settle in before our trip to Washington. We will be in Tacoma until the end of August and I am curious to see how I'll weather a summer in the city (though summer in Tacoma means a chilly average of 65 compared to Kentucky's median 75 degrees-- brrrr!). Then it will be back to Wilmore for another year or so while Alan sends out PhD applications and learns latin.

But today is all about writing reviews, catching up on work. When I started this job a year and half ago it felt pretty terrifying, espeically leaving a salary position with set hours and such. But what the hell, it feels good sometimes to throw caution to the wind and I'd rather sing for my supper any day of the week.

"I would rather be poor in a cottage full of books than a king without the desire to read."

-Thomas Babington Macaulay

Lucy's Baptism

2009-05-26T11:24:00.001-07:00

Lucy was baptized this Sunday! I was excited when I realized she'd be baptized during the Easter season on the day we remember the Ascension (our new goddaughters were baptized on May Crowning, which I thought was very fitting). It was great having Alan's folks here to take pictures and help with Lucy before hand.

Father Bush was cheerful, as he always seems to be when administering a sacrament. Lucy did very well-- I was nervous to say the least as she is known for pitching a fit when I rinse her hair in the bath. Her godfather, Jason, helped keep her quiet while we did the responsorial reading and Hannah, her godmother, held her for the baptism. Just a second of crying after she got a seashell full of water in her face and then she was just fine. She loved being anointed with the sweet smelling chrism.

So that's it! She didn't need to take on a "Christian" name as Alan did for his baptism, I suppose because Lucy is the name of a saint? I'll need to ask about that one. We were glad that, once again, our friends came to wish us well for the blessed event.

"Oh precious is the flow

That makes me white as snow

No other fount I know"

-Robert Lowry

Class of 2009

2009-05-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

Alan is graduating tomorrow. After three years of hard work and perseverance, he'll be awarded with the honors due him. How annoying Hebrew was, how aggravating the late night fits of paper writing that led into morning hours! But how sweet these days will seem someday when we look back.

My prayer for Alan, as he graduates, is that he remembers the lessons of seminary in times when the world seems turned on its head. Perhaps the data-- Greek verbs, Wesleyan history, thoughts on literary criticism-- will fade as the years pass. But I hope Alan can always recall the love of God, the passion for theology, the deep understanding he fostered in himself through these years. What I've gleaned from him second hand is very valuable so I am sure his experience has been a rich one.

God bless to my brilliant husband and all the Asbury Seminary graduates who will find their journey turning a corner tomorrow.

New Ad

2009-05-20T05:03:00.001-07:00

Fairest of All Seasons

2009-05-18T18:34:00.000-07:00

"Now that its time
Now that the hour hand has landed at the end
Now that its real
Now that the dreams have given all they have to lend...
Its now I know, do I stay or do I go?
And it is finally I decide
That I'll be leaving in the fairest of all seasons."
-Jackson Browne

I will start writing about this now so it doesn't creep up on me later. The academic life is a nomadic one, and while we will be in Wilmore for another year some dear friends are leaving.

I do not want to say goodbye. When people have been a part of your life, helped you through the early years of marriage and parenting, celebrated the good times with you, it is not easy to think they will never again be a few minutes away.

In thinking about friendship that past few weeks, anticipating these sad departures, I began to figure out what it means to be a friend. Well, first I thought of what it means to not be a friend. I think envy and indifference are both opposed to friendship for many reasons. Being friends with someone, in the truest sense, is somewhat the opposite. You are happy for your friend's achievements, success good fortune rather than being envious; you are also sensitive to the movement of their lives rather than indifferent.

So as much as I want to be sad over my friends leaving, I have to remember what being a friend means. Knowing they are moving on to be near family, to have careers, to make their way in the world-- their happiness overwhelms my sorrow as their joys become my own. I am very glad, very blessed, to have known so many good friends in our time here, making this a very fair season indeed.

"You're so far away
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door
Doesn't help to know you're so far away."
-Carole King

Webcam and Thoughts

2009-05-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

We now have a webcam-- yay! We got a new laptop for a bargain and it came with this webcam (the selling point for me). I'm trying to justify it as a work purchase, but I'm more excited that the new PC will help Lucy visit, via skype, with her grandparents et al.

Today was one of those balmy, warm Kentucky days. The afternoon was humid and broke through to some showers. Before the rain, Lucy and I sat on the front steps to each lunch. We talked about the sky and birds and ants, even giving the ant a few orange niblets to see what they did. Lucy kept trying to tell me they were bees.

It was one of those days with lots of news, some sad and frustrating, some happy and full of resolution. And I feel God's grace coming over me, that in the midst of all that's been going on in our lives I can enjoy lunch with my daughter, take in a muggy afternoon, watch the ants as they work.

Amazing Race

2009-05-10T17:02:00.001-07:00

Alan and I are watching the Amazing Race finale right now. Every year, my favorite teams are bumped off early, leaving me with no one to root for on the last leg of the race. This year my team made it all the way to last week only to check in late because one of them had to pee!

Now, my little open note to all the teams:

Keisha and Jen, if you are out there on the Internet somewhere, I was with you guys all the way but next time, pee your pants. Its the Amazing Race for goodness sake!

And to Margie and Luke: you guys are awful. I hope everyone sees now what a brat Luke is and how he elbowed Keisha in the face at that one clue box. Y'all don't play fair and should be ashamed.

End of note.

I'm being forced to cheer on the NFL cheerleaders-- at least they'd be the first two-woman team to win the race. They hate people who don't speak English, however (in China: "Why don't these people speak English! They're so stupid!). But you know me, I'll be watching again next season for sure.

Thoughts on Hate Crimes, Private Matters

2009-05-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

So much talk about pastors and priests being jailed for hate crimes. Priests with friends in Canada say "It is happening, they are being fined for what they say about the Bible." Lawyers and politicians argue "No, a hate crime bill in the US will not effect what people say, only what they do."

I understand the outrage at crimes committed against a person because of something they cannot help like their gender, race, age, or possible physical impairments. When I was a child, a man with Down's Syndrome in my town was beaten by a bunch of football players from the high school-- all he was doing was handing out candy on Halloween. The anger that burned in me then, and even still does now, increases at the thought of this man's life being difficult already and the idea that he was less capable than most grown men at defending himself.

But speaking in church can be a hate crime? Again, I can understand to some extent. I'm Catholic now-- do you know how many sermons are preached in Protestant churches each Sunday about how all Catholics are evil? I've suffered through more sermons than I can count about Mother Theresa burning in hell because her faith was based on witchery. But I don't believe those preachers should be censored. I can't even support people who want to silence the Imams who preach that Muslims should conquer the US. I could never assume a law will control someone's mind, nor would I want it to.

I hope the people's right to free speech isn't jeopardized. I'm stunned that in a day when the president talks about how euthanasia and aborting a disabled child are "private matters" there is so much talk about prosecuting people for they say in the privacy of their place of worship.

(And once again, Richard Dawkin's organization proves obsessed with the habits of Christians, more so than even I am! They have a lot to say about this matter. His website is as pathetic as the fundamentalist pages that devote themselves to the minutia of the science community just to say "They are so wrong." Why do Dawkins' people waste so much energy thinking about these things? Shouldn't they be out engineering crap and making vaccinations?)

all about today

2009-05-01T18:21:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged about my day in a while.

Well, Lucy just got over a nasty stomach bug, so today was the first day in almost a week we could really venture out. Lucy and I ran a ton of errands, ate a little Sonic, let Alan do his Hebrew homework.

When we were all home, I got an itch to get my hair cut. After 3 years of cutting my hair myself I decided it was high time to let a professional at it. Well, almost a professional. For $10 and a decent tip I had it washed, cut, and styled by a student at the local beauty school. I narrowly avoided a mullet and am happy with the results.

Then we went to Ramsey's with Meredith and Chad for some good food and conversation-- the catfish was phenomenal, as always, and Lucy loved the apple fritters.

Now I'm getting ready to relax while Alan is at the movies watching X-Men and Lucy sleeps soundly. 20/20 and my fake mojito are all I need for a nice, easy Friday night.

Dr. Oz to Oprah: "Actually, you're wrong."

2009-04-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

[Note: you can see a better report of the minimarathon and pictures of the day here at Meredith's blog]

Here is a little incident that Oprah, Michael J. Fox, and the media are trying to forget.

A few weeks ago Fox was on Oprah's show to tell his story of having Parkinson's. He is a big supporter of embryonic stem cell research, claiming he trusts the science community to preform stem cell extractions ethically (what great faith he has). She, too, is vocal about the necessity of embryonic stem cell research.

So of course anything medical that Oprah features warrants a visit from Dr. Oz, her resident health expert and regular guest. Yet Dr. Oz didn't agree with either Oprah or Fox. Rather, he let them know he was going to rattle some cages by saying adult stem cells are the answer for regenerating damaged and diseased tissue.

Oz told us what so many advocates of adult stem cells already know: embryonic stem cells can turn into anything once in the body (even cancerous tumors), adult stem cells don't seem to have a rejection rate, and there are several cases of people's own tissue being used to treat their injuries or illnesses.

Him saying this made Oprah and Michael J. Fox look irritated to say the least and it is no surprise Oprah.com chopped up Dr. Oz's statements to make it seem like he was speaking of stem cells in general rather than adult vs. embryonic stem cells.

I encourage you to see the clip for yourself, make of it what you will. Just wanted to let people know since you will not likely hear about it in the news.

Half Sarathon (I can't help it...)

2009-04-25T15:04:00.000-07:00

Nearly 6 months of waiting and running came to an end this morning when I ran the minimarathon in Louisville.

Friends Meredith and Amberly kindly took care of the details (like booking a hotel room, picking a place to eat, driving) so I was pampered through the experience to say the least. We ate Italian, carbo loaded with lots of pasta and gnocchi, and turned in early. I could hardly sleep because I was so nervous.

Early this morning we made our way down town to take a shuttle bus to the starting line. So many people were there! I believe 12,000 people showed. Despite trying hard to keep a steady pace, I was swept up in the crowd and ran 11- 12 minute miles the first 6 miles-- after that I was so beat I slowed considerably. There were a ton of hills in the beginning and it was high in the 80's which didn't help the situation. But I drank lots of water, tried to stay upbeat, and persevered to the end.

The last few miles were difficult-- I felt like the bones in my feet were going to bust through my shoes. But how you can you slow down when the finish line is so close? Our friends were there to cheer Meredith and me on which was very encouraging.

At the very end I rounded the corner for the last stretch and went crazy! I was hootin and hollerin as I tore it up towards that finish line, I was so glad to see the end and knew I'd finished. My end time was 3hrs 13mins; not a great time, but only a little over my goal of 3 hours.

Will I do it again, people have asked? Maybe. I'd prefer to spend the summer working on my speed, maybe do some 5 and 10Ks instead as I do enjoy the experience of a race. It is simply wonderful to be able to say that I, the person who once couldn't run a half mile without collapsing, have run 13.1 miles and run them well.

Go West Young Man!

2009-04-18T10:13:00.001-07:00

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,

To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;

And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover

And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over. -John Maesfield, "Sea-Fever"

***

"I wish I were driving out on the freeway

Beneath a graveyard, western sky." -Counting Crows

Just a little post to expound on the fleetingness of life. I can see how many people look back on their lives and regret. After all, time moves so quickly-- if there is no joy, no depth, no learning of the virtues within those moments than life will seem not just fast moving but also empty. And there is something magical about loving people, about loving God, that sometimes slows down the days enough that you can really take it in and enjoy. Trips to see loved ones, school, our time living in a particular place all wind down to a close eventually, but we thank the Lord who makes all things new that the end of one time is the beginning of another.

Pictures of Washington and an update on all we've been deciding (and its a lot) in a short while, I promise.

Until we rest in Thee

2009-04-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

There was a time in my late teens when I felt on the edge of a deep precipice that threatened to swallow me up if I stepped too close. Doubt, hatred, despair clouded my heart and mind and I believed any last shred of faith was taken from me. I found myself unable to believe in the incarnation, in the life everlasting, the resurrection of the dead, the salvation of my own soul.

I quickly became tired of asking questions and getting answers that didn’t satisfy. So I took a little spiritual sabbatical. I prayed the last prayer I’d pray for a long season, asking God to reveal himself if he was indeed there at all.

And so began my dance back towards the arms of the Church. People kept telling me to draw nearer to God, to pray harder, to worship louder. But now I don’t think that’s what was missing in my devotion—in fact, I was devoid of any love for or relationship with the people of God. I was taught my whole life that all I needed was my Bible and the Spirit to guide me and I could be perfectly happy. We were all little John the Baptists in the wilderness, just us and God and no need for another soul.

How wrong they were! And even Jesus’ cousin John had his people, he was still a Jew in community and had disciples despite our idea of him as a loner. So after nearly 8 years of journeying, on Holy Saturday I was brought back into the assembly to participate fully in the sacramental life.

* * *

Father Bush lit the Easter fire outside and we all lit our own little candles from the light of the fire. In darkness, we entered the church. Father George chanted beautifully about the attributes of God, his love, mercy, and blessings for us. Thankfully our friends were able to keep Lucy quiet and happy during the entire mass (something even Alan and I haven’t quite figured out how to do…).

There were several readings and responsorial songs, then a brief homily from Father Bush about Christ as our Alpha and Omega, our beginning and our end.

Alan was baptized and he looked so pleased! We all renewed our baptismal promises as a congregation.

Our confirmation was simple and lovely. After affirming that we as catechumen and candidates were ready to accept the creeds and responsibilities of being Catholic, Father Bush anointed us with chrism and blessed us. We each received a scapular from the Church (along with an icon of Saint Luke from Fr. Bush, Easter tulips, and gifts from our sponsors and friends—we were lavished on to say the least). We then took our First Holy Communion, something I’d been anxiously awaiting for a whole year.

Thank you so much to all our friends who supported us: to Dru and Adam for watching Lucy every week so we could attend RCIA, to Pamm and Tom for sponsoring us, to Jason and Hannah for taking the journey with us, and to all who encouraged us along the way. And thanks to Mark, Fr. Bush, and Deacon Burns for teaching our classes, giving us a thorough and enjoyable catechism. We are blessed to be received into the Church at St. Luke’s, which I believe to be a very devoted, orthodox, and caring parish.

* * *

That’s hardly the end of things—I still have questions, will always wrestle with doubts, will struggle with the problems that the Church faces. But I know the Lord is with me and, should I ever feel fallen away again, His people and sacraments are there.

“A promise or a dare
I would jump if I knew you'd catch me
Staring over the edge
I can't tell if you'll be here for me

I close my eyes and make a wish
Turn out the lights and take a breath
Pray that when the wick is burned
You would say that it's all about love

You were there when I needed you
You were there when the skies broke wide, wide open.”

–Jars of Clay

Live on Science Alone

2009-04-11T11:42:00.000-07:00

I just read through the first chapter of Richard Dawkins' "The God Delusion." His supporters claim that his "clarity" is often mistaken for arrogance-- I don't find this happening in most instances, do you? No, I think very often the arrogant are labeled so because they are.

Dawkins talks on and on of scientists that believing people have supposedly tried to take for their own. Letters, books, memoirs are misread and one mention of God is spun into a lifetime of abiding faith from Einstein or Hawkings. Perhaps this is true, though I'd like to say it goes both ways-- despite his devotion to the Church, the poor father of geology Steno is in a permanent strangle hold by the science community. That one, at least, I wish they'd give back.

An idea that's been niggling at my brain for some time finally popped to the forefront as I read it, however: many scientists truly believe that science should replace religion. They believe it should be the fount of ethical and personal beliefs, it seems. Reading Sky & Telescope this year my suspicions from earlier in life were confirmed-- just as the many science-lovers I knew were always trying to "convert" me (sorry but that is how it felt), the pages of this magazine are filled with preachy opinions about how science is the lens with which to view all the world.

This really leaves a bad taste in my mouth for a discipline I am quite fond of. I am going to try my best to seek out sources that, unlike Dawkins, aren't drunk with their own arrogance. Surely there are still minds in this world brilliant enough to know they do not hold the key to everything.

"I try to live on science alone.
Analysis and freaky sensitivity,
We've gotta live on science alone." -The Dandy Warhols

Holy Thursday

2009-04-10T07:59:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was Holy Thursday. Our evening mass at St. Luke's was, as always, more than I expected. I was just saying to Alan last night how mass on holy days and feast days always exceeds my expectations.

The entrance song was joyous-- Bishop Gainer celebrated the mass with us, our deacons and priests were dressed in very fine robes, and there were bright flowers on the alter. We sang the Gloria for the first time since Lent began and the bells peeled out as we did. The Bishop's homily drew us into remembering Jesus with his disciples during that last meal together. Bishop Gainer then washed the feet of 12 of the men from St. Luke's while we sang, solemnly.

Before the Eucharist a communion chalice was blessed in memory of our deacon's wife who passed away last year. While the Eucharist was served another somber song and then the stripping of the alter. The host was placed in a tabernacle at the side of the church as we sang Pange Lingua (a beautiful song written by St. Thomas Aquinas), even the host from the adoration chapel was removed, the candles were taken out, and the linens were folded by the priests and carried away. Then we all left the church in silence.

I'm not sure what to expect this afternoon for Good Friday but I'm sure it will serve to remind us all of God's love and sacrifice, to help us contemplate the deep mysteries of Christ's death for our sake, and lead us to look forward to His resurrection.

Visit, Surveys

2009-04-07T20:23:00.000-07:00

I'm all better now. My last painful attack came just a few hours before my sister arrived for a week long visit, thankfully. I don't know if it has passed but the stone is at least in a place where I cannot feel it. And we've had a very nice visit with Alex who heads back to Michigan tomorrow. I'm so thankful for having a sister, and one I get along with at that-- we can be silly and serious and sad and caring all in a few moments. Lucy has had fun with her Auntie Alex (who she calls "Ahh Tee").

On another note, I've been completing consumer surveys for over a year. When I quit my job at the school last winter I thought it'd be fun to fill in some of my free moments with surveys. They are mostly annoying. But I have finally collected enough points to cash in for a $20 paypal check (a big deal for me).

I had planned for months to use the money for a cheese making kit. Since this latest kidney stone bout I've resigned myself to a low dairy/low oxalate diet which isn't exactly compatible with homemade cheese. And since I will also need to up my water intake, I've decided to use the cash for a stainless water bottle. They are supposed to be better for you and are easier to wash by hand (we have no dishwasher).

Our confirmation at St. Luke's is coming up this Saturday, and then we are off to Washington for a week, so I'm sure there will be plenty to blog about in the weeks to come.

Just A Little Update

2009-03-31T16:37:00.000-07:00

Today's trip to the urologist (I think that is one of the ugliest words) left me with more pain medication and anti-inflammatories. He said it can take a couple weeks of agony for a stone to pass. If it is not gone by next week, they may need to break it up or take it out.

The one blessing is that the medication this time is not making me sick-- I feel floaty, which I don't like, but at least I've been spared the really bad pain all afternoon.

I promise to write something on the lighter side for my next post.

Kidney Stones Revisited

2009-03-29T07:51:00.000-07:00

I am at my wits end. I have work to do, the house needs cleaning, and I can hardly think about anything but the pain. At least right now it is at a point where I can sit still and it isn't quite so stabbing-- yesterday morning I went through the rolling around in agony/crying out to God/screaming into my pillow/throwing up stage-- that was on and off yesterday and today it seems to be a small stab rather than the kind of pain that makes me want to die.

Please pray for me. Just pray it will pass on its own. We are not insured and live like most other seminarians, hand to mouth, so I cannot flippantly go to the hospital. I feel okay otherwise (if that is even possible at this point) and have no fever so no need to worry. But I want it to be over soon.

Any advice from other sufferers out there is surely appreciated.

Like A Rolling Stone

2009-03-27T09:52:00.000-07:00

I grew up hearing about the terrors of kidney stones. There was the story of my Grandpa Jim driving up from Texas to New Jersey and getting stranded in Tennessee because a stone left him in no position to drive. Then there was my Uncle Joe explaining the contortions he went through trying to relieve the pain his kidneys. And my mother always told me it was worse than labor.

For the past six years I've been attacked on a regular basis by these awful little buggers that painfully make their way through my body. At the height of the pain I think of strange things-- I see the angriest shades of yellow and gray, remember lines to poems I memorized as a kid, think about throwing myself off of high places. You cannot sleep, do not want to eat, and cannot put the pain from your mind for even a minute.

This latest bout is not quite that bad-- maybe the stones aren't as pointy, or perhaps they are sitting in a better spot than usual. But still, how many glasses of water can you drink in a day (the doctor says I need to drink at least 3.5 liters)? How long can a stupid hunk of sediment torture your insides? I hope my little stones roll on soon.

Good and Evil

2009-03-24T09:26:00.001-07:00

Last night Father George discussed good and evil with our RCIA class. He discussed the view of St. Thomas Aquinas (and the Church) that evil is not its own thing, rather it is at the lowest end of the spectrum of goodness. I learned this as a philosophy student (and then quickly forgot) that evil is the lack of goodness. Fr. George also explained that the more evil we become the less human we are-- to be truly human is to perfectly reflect the goodness of God. (Very encouraging for someone raised to believe we are all piles of poop that can only come close to holiness when Jesus covers us with Himself, that we are never quite capable as humans to be holy).

I think I often get caught up in Buddhist-type thinking-- if I can just detach myself from my passions, emotions, desires, needs I will be able to live faithfully. But nothing could be further from the truth. Rather than losing our passions, I think we are called to order them. It is good to want "earthly" things like food, sex, work that makes us happy, healthy children, good friendships. But all our desires need to be in submission to the Spirit less they turn into sin; the desire for food without self-control turns to gluttony, the need for material things like clothing and shelter without reason becomes avarice, and so on. You see? The lack of goodness is exactly what evil is.

I don't know if that is very clear, but I find knowing this shores me up against a number of different trials. To know that our desires are not something to overcome but something to offer to God so He may use them to His honor is, to me, a sweet relief.

"And the knowledge of evil serves that of good and the knowledge of good is sharpened and ruled by that of the evil, and is made wise in all things by it." -Hildegard Von Bingen

Minutia

2009-03-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

Lucy finger painted for the first time today! She especially liked making hand prints across the page. I remember from somewhere (babysitting? school?) that a drop of soap in the paint makes it easier to clean up and it worked well.

I bought an exercise band yesterday to strengthen my knees for a less painful run. The band came with a pilates DVD. I failed miserably at pilates in college but will try again. My friend Meredith tried to encourage me to cross train once by saying dancing counts. So when my sister is here next month we are going to learn that sassy Beyonce dance from the Put a Ring On It video (don't laugh!). Anyone tried it?

We still have not heard from the PhD program and all sorts of drama is going on concerning it. I don't want to talk about it now, so you can ask if you want to know :(

And I am terrible these days about Yahoo! Answers-- it is addicting, giving half unsolicited advice. I love answering the pregnancy and religion questions (it is a good way to simultaneously and anonymously take out my frustration with hot headed atheists and offer breastfeeding tips). Two Strings and a Can is weird, and I think I am the only sober person who participates, but is also fun. I came across that by googling "asdfjkl;" and then going to asdfjkl;.com .... too much time on my hands the last few days!

Waiting Waiting Waiting

2009-03-13T10:05:00.001-07:00

Some good news: our third nephew was born yesterday! Little Jackson Mostrom is healthy and seems pretty happy so far (and very cute in my opinion). Mom is fine, all is well. We'll meet him next month when we spend some time in WA.

Other than that, all we've been doing is waiting to hear back from Ave Maria about Alan's PhD program. We attack the poor mailman every day hoping he has a letter in hand. Nothing. The admissions lady won't answer her phone. If it is bad news I'd rather just know; if Alan was accepted I'd like to know when we're moving.

Either way, I think we will celebrate or console ourselves with a dinner at Red Lobster whenever we finally hear back. Cheese biscuits make so many things better.

"And we'll drink and dance with one hand free
And have the world so easily
And oh we'll be a sight to see
Back in the high life again..." -Steve Winwood

Natural, Cheap, and Homemade

2009-03-11T06:32:00.000-07:00

With the springy weather we had the past few days I felt alive once again. I'm really just no fan of the cold. So, along with improving my running routine I've been busy with new things around the house...

1) Freezer jam. For only a few dollars I bought freezer jam plastic jars and pectin at Kroger. Between manager's special strawberries and blackberries I had in the freezer (which survived the ice storm!) I was able to make 5 jars of jam. It'll last in the freezer for up to a year and thawed out in the fridge for 3 weeks. Right now I am enjoying the blackberry jam that I picked and prepared. Yum.

2) Felt board. For Lucy's Easter basket I'm going to make a felt board. Since she's too little for Easter candy but we still wanted to fill and hide eggs, Alan and I decided to fill her eggs with all the little shapes she can use on her board. I think she'll have fun with it and it is rather economical, if I do say so myself.

3) Baking soda. I'll tell you, nothing gets the stainless sink clean like baking soda AND it keep the drains from smelling funky. I've also used it to wash my hair this week-- a friend of mine who lives on the seminary campus said many of the ladies there are forgoing shampoo for a baking soda and hair oil routine. I have to say my hair feels better. I've never found a shampoo I like so maybe this is a long awaited answer to my bad hair days.

Now since it is cold today I'm curious to see if the next warm spell brings on another downpour of frugal inspiration.

"It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!" ~Mark Twain

The Trimmings at Church

2009-03-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

We were a little late for church this morning so the ushers escorted us to the only space available: right up front. Sitting up front is great for Lucy-- she is always quieter when she can see what is going on. But for me it is a bit of a distraction.

You see, most people seem to stare at the windows or statues in church when they're not paying attention. Being a crafter, I get terribly side tracked by the needlework. The crocheted edging on the cloth that covers the communion chalice, the openwork on deacon Frank's robes, the purple-edged lace that adorns the tablecloth, even the details on the clothes the little statues of Mary and Jesus wear are too much when I can see them in detail!

I wonder: did lay women or nuns make them? Is that lace cut out by hand or pressed out on a machine? Did the church special order these? Can I make altar cloths? Is there a special place you have to buy the materials so everything comes out just the right color? And so on. Sometimes I'm tempted to feel superior-- there must be something better about thinking about doing handiwork in church than just staring at a window! But a distraction is a distraction and I should save my speculation about thread and yarn for another time and concentrate on the sermon...

"All my scattering moments are taken up with my needle." ~Ellen Birdseye Wheaton

"Methinks it is a token of healthy and gentle characteristics, when women of high thoughts and accomplishments love to sew." ~Nathaniel Hawthorne"

Disney + Kill Bill 2 = 7 Miles

2009-03-06T17:21:00.000-08:00

As many of you know I am attempting to run in the Louisville half marathon this April. Cold weather and traveling threw me way off my training plan so this week I realized I'd have to step things up or forget about it.

Usually I run 3 miles at a time, sometimes 5 on the treadmill. I'm terrible at psyching myself up for running. On Monday I set out to do at least 4 miles at the gym and only ran 3.

Rather than beat myself up about it I spent the first 3 miles of my Wednesday jog thinking about MIA's "Paper Planes," Katherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment ("I'm one hell of a climber"), the training sequence in Mulan and Beatrix Kiddo's time with Pai Mei, telling myself there was a bearded man with a stick who'd whack me on the head if I hesitated. And I made it to 5 miles no problem.

So today I psyched myself up, brought along my clunky walkman with a Steely Dan CD, and completed two times around the 5k course in Wilmore before I ran back home. 7 miles! On Monday I couldn't make it past 3! So I've put in 15 miles for the week and am back on track with my training plan, and the half marathon finally seems within my reach.

"Just like all Yankee women, all you are good at is ordering in restaurants- and spending a man's money!" -Pai Mei

Antisocial Homeschoolers... oh Please!

2009-03-03T06:52:00.000-08:00

Just to get it out there-- homeschooling DOES NOT inhibit socialization. Period. I am very weary from hearing this from people who were not homeschooled-- you don't know! At RCIA I found out a classmate of mine homeschooled her three boys, two of them now grown and working. In the middle of debating a Great Books ciriculum versus Sonlight, another classmate pipes up about "Well that is all great, but all the homeschoolers I know are isolated." The homeschool mom's story about her son driving himself to New Mexico for college (and hardly coming back!) at 18 did not sway her, nor my insistence that I had hours everyday to hang out with friends once I stayed home if I chose.

I was a public school student too and, frankly, never thought there was all that much time to socialize. At lunch? Recess? Passing notes in class? I'm a talker and was always scolded in school for talking too much-- public school is the proper outlet for a child who likes to chat and visit with people? Hardly. That doesn't mean public school in the devil, but I'm tired of people trying to press on me the superiority of a school-based social network. Fellow homeschoolers, I will take your challenges but people who never experienced it, PLEASE do not knock it till you've tried it :)

PS And bringing up homeschoolers you "know" is no argument. It would hardly be appropriate if I based my opinion of Baptists on most of the Baptists I know, or my idea of the wealthy on most of the wealthy people I know.... I hardly assume that those I've encountered from a particular group are a fully representative cross section!

A Good Sunday

2009-03-02T07:13:00.001-08:00

Yesterday we celebrated the beginning of Lent and our journey towards becoming Catholic with the Rite of Election at the cathedral in Lexington. The cathedral itself is lovely, very 1960's with long stained glass windows that looked like the most fantastically knitted scarves and wooden carvings of the saints that seemed straight from 14th century illuminations.

Bishop Gainer preached about our continuing conversion as Christians, and heartily welcomed all of us candidates and catechumen. The catchumen signed their names in the diocese's book of election and all of us had a chance to stand up in the sanctuary where the bishop blessed us. There were so many people there, though Fr. Bush claimed some years there were twice as many (I'd say at least a couple hundred people between both groups).

I'm grateful to our sponsors, Tom and Pamm, for leading us through this time. Alan and I are both so excited to step into the stream of the Catholic Church, to show our solidarity with the people who trace their line, unbroken, back to the apostles. As with marriage, this is a lifetime comittment for better or for worse.

A Few Photos

2009-02-28T17:50:00.000-08:00

A few pictures with Noni and Poppy from our recent visit

Lucy sporting a homemade crown and bracelets

And getting all dressed up in Daddy's clothes

for native New Jersians or those who like to visit

2009-02-24T14:03:00.000-08:00

Oh, you know how I love song lyrics. I wanted to link you up to this Steve Forbert song but couldn't find a place online where all can listen to it.

Not many songs about NJ out there (that aren't written by that airhead Bruce Springsteen, anyway) and maybe no others that mention Hohokus (which I don't think I have ever said without cracking up).

Strange Names

I'm from Piscataway, I'm going that-a-way,
West on the Jersey map, out towards the Water Gap,
I've seen Parsippany, northwest of Whippany,
Mahwah to Hackensack, I've made the trip and back,

Strange names, north New Jersey's got 'em,
Them strange names towns,

Hoboken's got me stressed, I'm going to motor west,
Out Succasunna way, Netcong or Rockaway,

North New Jersey's got strange names towns a lot,
Your cool local spot may or it may have not,

I've seen Paramus, well, that's next to Oradell,
Hohokus takes the cake, wait, that'd be Cheesequake!
Oh, h-ho ho,
Oh, h-ho Ho-ho-kus
Strange names, north New Jersey's got 'em,

I'm from Piscataway, I'm going that-a-way

What NBC Refused to Show at the SuperBowl

2009-02-18T06:58:00.000-08:00

I know, I'm behind on the times, this happened a whole month ago. And I'm sure many of you have come across it by now. I'm not much for public service-type ads, but thought this one from CatholicVote was simple and thought provoking.

This puts arguments about abortion and a good life into perspective-- who's to say what child will and will not potentially have a good life? How can you argue, as Speaker Pelosi did, that some children will be productive and cost effective, and others will not?

I wonder what CahtolicVote means-- I certainly hope it doesn't mean to vote for Catholic politicians! So many of them (current VP and house speaker included) come off as being cheerfully ignorant, like smiling bobble heads. Then again, its never the best and brightest of any people group that gets voted into office, is it?

Places

2009-02-16T08:50:00.000-08:00

My home, right now, is in Kentucky. For the longest time I felt restless traveling back North, first because I missed New Jersey then because I scorned it. This was the first trip where I was comfortable being there and still glad to come home. I wonder why?

Another thought on home-- I feel at home in Tacoma, a place I'd never laid eyes on until I was 20 years old. But it is Alan's old stomping ground, the place where his parents still live and where his family has roots. Maybe it is being married, the weaving of two lives together that's caused it, but I almost feel nostalgic being in Washington-- am I deceiving myself?-- as if a little piece of me has always been there.

bell hooks wrote a book about place that I should get around to reading one of these days. Maybe she, a Kentucky lady who's lived all over, can help me sort out the deep connection I now feel to a number of scattered places.

"On the way, on the way home
I saw a rainbow beneath my feet,
flowing over the filthy street.
It’s a long, it’s a long way
back to the place where we used to sit
when you and I were just little kids.
The time we had is not gone.
The way we chose was the long one.
The time we had is not gone." - The Mother Hips

Valentine's Day

2009-02-11T06:42:00.000-08:00

Just a short reflection in honor of St. Valentine's Day. Being in love, living with someone, having a relationship... these are not always easy things to bear. But to all of you out there who, like me, have a person you love with you every day you have a reason to rejoice.

When I was single my view of marriage was rather utilitarian-- I thought it was a way to combat loneliness, the proper context for having and raising kids, a way to refine the inner person into someone more virtuous. While it is all these things, I never could have seen what was hiding in the cracks and crannies of marriage: solidarity, renewal, forgiveness, lightheartedness, and the chance to truly know another person in a way not possible before.

"Lovers come and then lovers go
That's what the people say
Don't they know
How it feels when you love me
Hold me and say you care
And what we have is much more than they can see
Yes what we have is much more than they can see" -George Benson

"You and me together
Through the days and nights
I dont worry cause
Everythings gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you" -Alicia Keys

2009-02-09T19:04:00.000-08:00

Since we've been back in Kentucky, we have had a string of events-- two baby girls born to dear friends, a buddy's elopement, a birth announcement, knee surgery for my mother-in-law, and updates from our loved ones across the country. And the weather is lovely, a warm and breezy 70 that makes for perfect walks. The moon is full and high, opposite the sky from shining Venus, some of the better northern constellations dancing in between.

Alan and I have had a chance to read about the virtues, spun some new thoughts on feminist philosophy, visited with our friends in town, and Lucy has worked on all her animal names today. RCIA class (catechism class) was all about marriage and we were able to glean quite a bit from our teachers. And I've started a new project for work, which is always good news.

We had such a lovely trip to New Jersey and a few very nice days to welcome us back home.

A Few Little Adventures

2009-02-03T20:55:00.000-08:00

Oh I get by with a little help from my friends
I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.
-The Beatles

The first adventure involved our electricity going out. The ice storm in Kentucky peaked on Wednesday and we lost power that morning. Though we made it through a good part of the day at our house, our friends Amberly and Ryan took us in for a nice warm dinner. We also found friends and neighbors to help us wash dirty diapers and keep an eye on the house. And while we shivered through that first night well enough, our friends Dru and Adam let us stay with them until Saturday morning (unending thanks to all of you!).

That is when we set off for New Jersey. Our flights went well. Lucy was very happy to see her Noni and Poppy on the other end. Since our arrival we've enjoyed good food, lively conversation, and catching up with my folks. Lucy is trying her hardest to coax Gus into a friendship, but he just barks and runs away when she calls out "Pup! Pup!" We'll have a chance to see relatives this week and go up to Nyack for a little visit.

It is so nice to have a respite in between Alan's classes, and for the first time since we've moved I appreciate the onslaught of traffic, the crabby faces, the comforts of my home state. If I'm diligent I will post a few pictures of the whole affair after we return.

Buildings an' people down under the skies
I walk down the street lookin' out through my eyes
Where it's dirty for dirty, it's an eye for an eye
It's a tooth for a tooth an' a sigh for a sigh
An' ev'rything's edgy like musical chairs
An' ev'ryone's lookin', but who really cares?
I'm 's'posed t' be happy, I'm here where it's at
I'm a face in the crowd, I'm a big city cat.
-Steve Forbert

Kebert Xela

2009-01-27T17:18:00.000-08:00

I just bombed the Jeopardy online test. They don't give you an online score, but I don't need to see how I did to know it was a cluster-$%#*. Casper is in Wyoming, not Utah; Guinea is the second largest island in the world, not friggen Iceland!

What was I thinking?! And the fill in the blank "Shall I compare you to a____..." and I put "rose" when it is obviously summer's day. Madison, JAMES MADISON, was the president during the war of 1812 and I second guess myself and write Andrew Jackson. I even missed the question that asked you to convert teaspoons to tablespoons. Aaaahhhhh!

I have a lot of studying to do in order to make my Jeopardy dream become a reality. Perhaps this was just my sad, pathetic wake up call. This Family Guy clip is my only consolation.

Just Blame it on the Kids

2009-01-27T16:18:00.000-08:00

From "This Week With George Stephanopoulos," an interview with Nancy Pelosi-- this portion concerns the stimulus package and what kind of institutions will receive funds:

STEPHANOPOULOS: Hundreds of millions of dollars to expand family planning services. How is that stimulus?

PELOSI: Well, the family planning services reduce cost. They reduce cost. The states are in terrible fiscal budget crises now and part of what we do for children's health, education and some of those elements are to help the states meet their financial needs. One of those - one of the initiatives you mentioned, the contraception, will reduce costs to the states and to the federal government.

Hold on a second... did she really say that we need to reduce our debt by having less kids? An interesting comment from a person with 5 children-- maybe she meant only poor people should limit the number of kids they have! That's right, it is poor babies who've gotten us into this financial mess, not a bunch of fat cat white men -- liberal and conservative-- who have tried to reap their wealth off the backs of other people.

The government telling us we should have fewer kids so it doesn't cost them... I don't care what your stance on abortion may be, this is tyrannical. Didn't Hitler "eliminate" disabled children because they were a "burden" on the state? What's next, Chinese-inspired family size limits?

Here is a link to the transcript so you can make sure I didn't take it out of context; I'm sure you can find this bit on YouTube as well.

Change of the Guard

2009-01-20T14:21:00.000-08:00

Let's face it-- there is a Steely Dan song for every occasion. I thought this was appropriate for an inauguration day. But let it be known I expect from this administration what I have from the others in my lifetime (and none has let me down so far): more for the rich, less for the poor, a ton of empty words, violence and terror, and eventually a president torn to pieces by the very people who put him in power. Happy inauguration.

If you listen you can hear it
Its the laughter in the street
Its the motion in the music
And the fire beneath your feet
All the signs are right this time
You don't have to try so very hard
If you live in this world
Youre feelin the change of the guard

All the cowboys and your neighbors
Can you swallow up your pride
Take your guns off if you're willin
And you know were on your side
If you wanna get thru the years
Its high time you played your card
If you live in this world
You're feelin the change of the guard
-Steely Dan

grasp one and not let go of the other

2009-01-18T12:24:00.000-08:00

Do not be overrighteous,
neither be overwise—
why destroy yourself?

Do not be overwicked,
and do not be a fool—
why die before your time?

It is good to grasp the one
and not let go of the other.
The person who fears God will avoid all extremes

Ecclesiastes 7:16-18

I really wish I could say I follow this prescription for prudent living. While I do believe this past year or so has been a deep and painful process of integrating belief with living, the journey's only just begun. It is like the blasted election all over again, where only two ways seemed present-- either a war in Iraq or one in Afghanistan, more tax dollars in the pockets of the reprehensible either way.

I look into the future and it seems I only have two options: become a woman who is an orthodox Christian, who hates abortion, who teaches her own children, who is devoted to her husband or a woman who is ecumenical, who defends the rights of women, who serves the poor with her own hands, who defends the creation around her.

And the forces of my life push, push, push me in one direction or the other and it seems no one wants to see someone standing in between these things; can't I be a woman who is equally disgusted by gender-based wage disparities and FOCA? Can't I be a woman who homeschools her kids and still believes in free education for all children? Can't I welcome in the illegal alien without wanting to read the constitution as a document that can bend in the wind of our desires?

It is encouraging to know there are many other young, Christian people trying to grasp one thing without letting go of the other. And it isn't out of some cheesy "don't label me" sentiment-- I am truly trying to hold onto the goodness in one thing without compromising another.

Thoughts on Mary

2009-01-13T10:52:00.000-08:00

Is January a tough month for anyone else? I'm not too fond of the stretch of time between the start of the new year and the beginning of Spring. The winters are full of short, cold days. While this season suits quiet contemplation and introspection, you can't go on in these activities for too long without feeling a bit nutty!

But if the weather is disposing me to sit and think, I might as well choose things that are interesting and noble to dwell on. I've been thinking about Mary, the Blessed Mother. I was raised to think she was "just a woman"-- the people in the church who taught me seemed on an endless quest to make Mary as simple-minded and common as possible. Why, I have no idea. Maybe in an attempt to make the bearing of Christ into the world more reachable for the lowly.

But the Catholic view of Mary is a bit different. While she is still very human, like all the other saints, Mary lived a holy life. By God's grace and will she played a unique part in the history of our universe, the only woman to carry God in her body and birth the Christ child into the world. Hmm, doesn't sound so common! I love when Mary is described as the second Eve; just as Eve is our biological mother, Mary is our spiritual mother by being the first Christian. Yes, the first Christian was a woman. By allowing God to create a new life within her, Mary shines as an example of how we are to accept the life God offers and bear it into the world.

Maybe those who taught me when I was young were uncomfortable with a woman having such a role in the formation of our faith, or maybe they were reacting against the "idolatry" they perceived among Catholics with regards to Mary. So far my contemplation has led me to be glad God has a mom, making him fully human while still being fully God. And I'm honored the Lord chose a woman to be the best example of how the holy life is lived.

"Following the shadows of the skies or are they only figments of my eyes?
And I'm feeling close to where the race is run
Waiting in our boats to set sail, sea of joy

Once the door swings open into space and I'm already waiting in disguise
Or is it just a thorn between my eyes?
Waiting in our boats to set sail, sea of joy"

-Blind Faith

Prayers Please,

2009-01-08T18:34:00.001-08:00

Please keep my grandmother, Cathy, in your prayers tonight and tomorrow-- at noon tomorrow she goes in for surgery on her carotid artery. It is a bit of a risky procedure but she's hoping it will, in her words, give her some "pep" once all is said and done.

Thanks.

"To reform a man, you must begin with his grandmother." -Victor Hugo

Shout Out to H & E

2009-01-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

Lately I think we've been missing our friends Heather and Enrique. They were our buddies in college and the one couple we've always gotten along with splendidly-- whether we were playing cards, talking philosophy, or watching movies we had a good time. We made fun of ourselves for having no money, for drinking wine out of Ikea cups, for dreaming about our respective fame and fortune to come. As a couple just that much further down the road, Heather and Enrique encouraged Alan and me that people who fight passionately and love fiercely can be happily, devotedly married.

Now we are miles and miles away from each other, and many evenings Alan and I wish our friends were in Kentucky rather than Colorado. While we are still in touch each week, its a stretch for emails and phone calls to fill in the space of talking to Heather over a bowl of chickpea soup or having Enrique tell me with a pat on the back "Little sister, don't worry! You'll be fine!"

But better to have friends to miss than none at all. And we look forward to a time when the Fates move us a few states closer together, when we can have one more round of nertz and wine with our dear friends.

New Baby Delivered Old School

2009-01-01T11:05:00.000-08:00

Congrats to our friends, the Herons, for the birth of baby Eloise! She's a cutie!

And she arrived at home (on purpose) as so many Wilmore babies do. Which brings up a study I recently came across. The Milbank Report is not about homebirthing, but birth practices in general. Spurred on by the fact that the US is not anywhere near the top twenty countries for healthy births, this report lays out the facts of having a baby in the States (a more risky practice than some might care to think).

A Good Year

2008-12-30T18:15:00.000-08:00

Can a year be evaluated? Can we really look back on a period of time and call it good or bad?

This year has been bumpy with family and friends taking ill or passing away. Our little family has certainly had its share of trials as we work out what it means to be married, to be parents, to live as a family.

I am grateful for how extensively we were able to travel-- Alan, Lucy and I have seen the majesty of the Pacific Ocean and the balmy beaches of the Florida Gulf, and family in New Jersey and Washington. We've had a parade of relatives come through our home in Kentucky as well.

And we've produced so much! Hundreds of meals, repairs to our car and appliances, socks and hats and mittens, school papers, soap, cheese. We were fortunate to participate in the growing of a garden and share child care with generous friends. We've studied out catechism, fleshed out our theology, taken the time to contemplate the mysteries of God.

Alan and I have had so much time together, to really have fun and grow closer together. I've never had a better friend than my husband, who is my closest companion and trusted confidant. To see him complete another two semesters of school and to raise our daughter together made this year one to cherish regardless of other circumstances.

Despite a world full of turmoil and the bad economy, for the most part its like we've been resting on a little island of peace. I think if nothing else I end this year knowing God still has me clutched tightly in the palm of His hand.

Happy New Year!

* * * * * * *

Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'

`If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, `you wouldn't talk about wasting IT. It's HIM.'

`I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.

`Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head contemptuously. `I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'

`Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: `but I know I have to beat time when I learn music.'

`Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. `He won't stand beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons: you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'